Tuesday, December 24, 2019

You stick to it, Mr. Eddie Murphy.

Hey, Eddie Murphy! Loved the monologue on SNL. Here's my response to Bill Cosby's publicist who publicly tried to shame you for it: 


Oh, wow. You mean Mr. Bill Cosby's publicist trotted out all the good deeds his client did for "his people" to try to shame Mr. Eddie Murphy's spot-on monologue? You mean that because Ol' Bill was the first of his color to break barriers on TV or win awards somehow means we should not discuss his criminal behavior and how it affected his fans?

I loved Ol' Bill's comedy from the time I was a teenager and heard a record of his. I still say "Bob" and "Everybody out of the gene pool." I loved Fat Albert cartoons and "I Spy" with Robert Culp. And when my children came along, I let them watch the Huxtable family show.

Eddie Murphy spoke for a lot of people who had the same fan experience as me. So, to Cosby's publicist and to Ol' Bill himself, I say,

"Why don't you do like you did to the ladies, Bill. Take a chill pill and Stop. Your. Whining."


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

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Monday, November 11, 2019

Wing nuts? Why, thank you Mizz O.


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 


A report recently showed that Mizz O called Trump supporters wing nuts. Here is my reply:

Dear Michelle Obama, 

I bet many are thanking you for the compliment. However, I don't think you meant it as that. Do you even know what a wing nut is? Do you know the job it does? How it works? Why it is a valuable thing to use?

Wing Nuts (or wingnuts) are fasteners that come in many sizes from both measuring system types: U.S. and Metric. They have a wing on two sides that allows for easy tightening with fingers and thumb. Conversely, these can just as easily be loosened to allow something to be taken apart.

So, at this time these wing nuts are tightening down on defending the Constitution and the Bill of Rights thereby loosing the Commie hold over the best bastion of freedom and balance in the world, the U.S, and that, dear girl, is why you did not insult us "wing nuts".


P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
** FLOTSAM means For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

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Friday, November 1, 2019

Can I stop abortions from happening?

The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 


The child is a victim of a crime. I cannot stop abortion. Abortions will continue to happen. In this I am without power and I accept my limitations there.

So where do I have power in this issue?

I can speak up to those who want to abort and help them to value life.

I can speak up to Governments that want me to pay for it and in so doing help them not be godless.

I can speak up to the Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct crowd when they self-righteously — and falsely, might I add — claim they care about the woman when it is patently obvious they care about a destructive ideal above the sanctity of innocent life, and in so speaking deprive them of their evil social justice power wielded from the pulpits of their unholy places.


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Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Why I can never be a stand-up comedienne.

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

I went to a Comedy Open Mic last night. My first. Might be my last because one of the comedians...doing what comedians do...engaged the audience by asking the audience a question. Then he turned to me and specifically asked me. Here is that interchange.

"You had pets growing up?"

"Yes, sir."

"What were they?"

"Well, let me see...ummm...monkeys...snakes...baby lion...and ummmm..."

Now, I was getting ready to say, birds and bulls and cats and dogs, but the guy stopped me and said, "Whoa! You can't just say 'monkeys' and roll on by that and not explain."

Then he proceeded to ask some more questions, one of which was, "So, this monkey pet you had, did it die of old age?"

I shook my head and said, "No. It was a cocaine overdose."

Well, that brought the house down and was the running joke the rest of the night. Poor ol' Jocko the Macaque. Famous all these years later. The stories in my childhood are not things I can tell and make people laugh. For instance, before Jocko died of the drug overdose, he got out of his cage and into Ex-Lax. Ate the whole box. When we came home, monkey crap was everywhere and Jocko was laying on the top of the fridge with his head hanging down and moaning.

That should be funny. All the elements for comedy are there, right? Monkey. Crap smeared everywhere. There's a joke in there somewhere...except when I tell it isn't funny. It's just sad.

So you can see that my childhood is why I can never be a stand up comedienne, though I make a great second banana...as I proved so well last night.


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Thursday, August 1, 2019

"Wham Bam Shang-A-Lang" by Silver


Democratic Candidate Wannabees Debates Last Night


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

I was in the car when the debates came on the radio and so only got to hear some of it. But from what I heard can we all say together "Rewind and Repeat"? True, they are in a fight against each other to get their party's nomination and as such are preaching to their diverse choirs, but sheesh, even a preacher has to change up his* approach every now and then.



[*Use of the word 'his' in the marked sentence above is explained here just in case there are any Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Liberal Democrat RINO Socialist Fascist Commie All-Inclusive Social Justice Warriors reading this post:

Please note that the use of 'his' in the sentence referencing preachers is not used to exclude non-binary or the gender fluid or any human who claims belief in God yet ignores God's very specific creation of two sexes — genders — of male and female and that 'his' is only used to make the reading of the sentence that I wrote easy to get to the part that actually means something and is the point as opposed to muddying the waters with stupid stuff that only the #RadicallyShatbitCwazy find important.]

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Sunday, July 21, 2019

"I am Victim, watch me gloat."


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

Sung to the tune of
"I am Woman!" by Helen Reddy


I am Victim*, hear me whine.
I am mad all the time.
And I know how to cry loud and so forth,
Ooooh, history’s a bore and
lattes and puppies do mean more
Than unborn children waiting to be born.


Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, you've paid my price
But look how much I’ve gained
You can’t make me, no, no, do anything
I am whiny
(Whiny!)
I am susceptible
(Susceptible!)
I am Victim.
You try but will never break me
I pitch fits “You can’t make me!”
And I’ll sue you to get my own way.
I’ll call A-C-L-U.
Get injunctions out the wazoo
‘Cause “I am right, you are wrong,” I say.


Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, you've paid my price
But look how much I’ve gained
You can’t make me, no, no, do anything
I am whiny
(Whiny!)
I am susceptible
(Susceptible!)
I am Victim

I am Victim, watch me gloat
While I rip out your throat

As I spread my lovin’ arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I make my brother understand


Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, you've paid my price
But look how much I’ve gained
You can’t make me, no, no, do anything
I am whiny
(Whiny!)
I am susceptible
(Susceptible!)
I am Victim


I am Victim.
I am Susceptible
I am Whiny.
I am Victim.
I am Susceptible
I am Whiny.
I am VICTIM!


P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies


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Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Who moved my cheese?


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

According to a news report from Rice University, journalism is no longer a path to stable employment.

Yes indeed, many in the business are asking "Who moved my cheese?" 

As your Citizen Journalist — and one who used to write freelance for newspapers and magazines — I have been telling folks for years that so-called serious journalism was artificially propped up. Manipulating viewer, reader, and circulation numbers kept advertisers' dollars flowing in and paying those fancy salaries of degreed journos who have mostly let down their readers with the spread of fake news.

So, Rice University agrees with me now. They are so frickin' far behind it isn't even funny. 

However, I can smell it coming: Like doctors, lawyers, engineers, and others who require being licensed to practice, wait and see if the P-HWPCLDRSFC* journalists seek to protect their FLOTSAM** turf by requiring anyone who writes to be "licensed. 


P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
** FLOTSAM means For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

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Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Hey, Anderson Cooper: If I say Trump raped me, will you have me on your really big show to flog my book, too?


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

They don't even hide it anymore. E. Jean Carroll's allegation of rape against President Trump was followed closely on its heels by an interview on Anderson Cooper's show wherein she said that many people have rape fantasies and blew poor ol' Anderson's ever-loving liberal mind. Of course, she only said all that about Trump to get on FREE advertising for her new book. 

But I don't care. I just have one question for Anderson Cooper:

If I say Trump raped me, will you have me on your really big show to flog my book?



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Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Money laundering, slush fund, or legitimate sales? You decide.


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 


In The Washington Times online edition of June 18, 2019, in a front page article (wrapping to A6) is an article entitled "Obama shuns unwritten rules for ex-presidents". 

Included were numbers very high up in the stratosphere for Barack's and Michelle's post-presidential paydays from writing books, giving speeches, and making deals with Netflix and Spotify for content creation. 

I've been in the book business for many years and there's one thing I know for certain: Books by presidents and presidents' wives do not make a profit. I know this because their books end up being sold at book remainder shows where they are measured by the pound and put in large cardboard boxes that you then see at stores selling groceries and pharmacy items, and on sale shelves at bookstores for a few dollars each.

Another little secret you may not know is that the term sold (as in retail sales) is often switched out for the other word distributed. This is to hype marketing efforts.  

For instance, it is said that Michelle Obama's book "Becoming" sold 10 million copies between November 13, 2018, and March 31, 2019. The sales figures were called remarkable. Does that figure include print, e-book, and audio book? It is not made clear. However, I have other issues with these numbers.

First, I do not believe that 10 million copies were printed of the 448-page book. That's a big book. It costs money to print, bind, store, fulfill, ship, manage returns, and do the bookkeeping. I would like to see that warehouse.   

But let's just say that 10 million were printed. Were they printed all at one time, or did they sell out and have to go back to press? I doubt it, otherwise that would've been mentioned because that's a big deal. So, does that mean they were sold to one reader at a time? Ten million is a lot of books, so let's do the math. 

Nov 13, 2018 to end of March 2019 = 138 days

That means each day 72,464 individuals had to purchase the book in order to say that 10 million copies sold. That is 1449 in each state each day. Were they driving to bookstores? Buying online? 

Therefore, let's say that if 10 million were printed, then 10 million may have been distributed to book stores, but I double guar-O-damn-tee-ya 10 million did not sell. 

So the question then comes up: How does any publishing company, including one as large as the Crown Publishing Group and Random House 2018 merger made, make any money on such a deal as this? They have huge overhead and are looking to cut costs and they go and make such a deal as this? What else is involved? Are they getting a fee for serving as her speaker bureau? 

I'm calling their numbers bogus. It has happened before that publishing houses, production companies, etc., are used as the middle-men in payoffs or curry favor between politicians and other countries or businesses. So, the current Obama deals going on: Are they money laundering, slush funds, or legitimate sales? You decide.

In any case, I say...

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Saturday, June 15, 2019

The machine is out of control.


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 


Comrade Lenin lay on his deathbed, one side of his mouth drooping, uncontrollable. The other side barely able to speak. But speak he did and said, "The machine is out of control."

Can you imagine working your whole life to make a great thing happen and realizing on your deathbed that the very things you put in place would be the undoing, the downfall, of your dream?

Note: I do not feel sorry for Lenin. Nor do I feel sorry for the entrenched P-HWPCLDRSFCs* when they view the uncontrollable upstarts invading their parties. Democrats and RINOs are surely saying the machine is out of control. The stable foundation of their careers is rocked. Their hard-worked-for retirement payoffs are threatened. They are the butts of jokes so truthful that, when denied by them, we point and say "The jokes just write themselves, folks."

The old saying has never been more true of them: If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. And thus the young upstarts walked through a hole of the old guard's making to steal the old guard's thunder. Not their vision, no, because there's never been a vision to steal. 

Do not be mistaken: Hate of an enemy is an emotion, not a vision. Emotion ebbs and flows and waxes and wanes. Emotion is a comet streaking across the sky, all flash and bang and spectacle but goes nowhere and does nothing except may destroy should it actually make contact.

But a vision. Wow. 

Photo credit: Gage Skidmore.
A vision is the constant North Star around which all rotates. Donald Trump has a vision. He rotates around it in a constant orbit, never losing sight of what must be done. 

Democrats and RINOs and others driven by pure emotion do not understand constant orbit or vision. They have as their rallying cry "Me! Me! Me!" Everything is right and nothing is wrong...except what they don't agree with. 

They embrace Evil, and destroy Good. They march in the streets to kill the unborn human child and march in those same streets to save a pregnant dog from euthanasia because "the dog is innocent".

In this country, the United States, the comets have been streaking across the sky for years with the support of outlets of FLOTSAM**. Thus, those who watch the many news shows and read the many newspapers and news magazines showing those comets are prone to believe those comets are the majority. 

They are not the majority. 

They may be loudest. They may be most garish. They may get a lot of attention. They may have their very own freak show. 

But contrary to what Ol' Hill and The Gang and the Young Upstarts think, they are not in the majority. The majority — folks like me and maybe you — quietly go about doing right and fighting Evil and being good. So quietly they may think we are powerless.

The Gang and the Young Upstarts are wrong. And we will find them laying on their deathbeds saying, "The machine is out of control." When the machine in uncontrollable, it dies. 





P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
** FLOTSAM means For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

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Friday, June 14, 2019

Make Your Camper's Week - Friday

by Kim D.

It's Friday - one more full day for your camper as Saturday is usually coming home day.  Enjoy!

 HEY BAILEY,

WOW! TIME DOES FLY – ONE MORE DAY UNTIL YOU COME HOME.  HAVE YOU SENT US A LETTER YET? I TOLD MOM TO CHECK THE MAIL. I’LL REMIND HER LATER TO CHECK ONE MORE TIME.

WELL THE COWIE WARS HAVE CONTINUED AND WE HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.  YESTERDAY, WE FOUGHT PRETTY HARD OVER IT AND IT’S PRETTY MUCH TRASH NOW.  

WHEN YOU GET HOME, YOU NEED TO CALL CHICK FIL A AND ORDER TWO MORE PLEASE. HERE’S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE AGAIN BEFORE IT WAS RIPPED IN TWO

BUT – SURPRISE – LOOK AT THE COVER OF THIS NOTECARD – I HAVE REINFORCEMENTS NOW – MOM ADOPTED THREE MORE WESTIES! 

JUST KIDDING BEAU.

AHEM JACKIE, YOU WISH YOU DID HAVE HELP YA LOSER (HEH – HEH). 

ANYWAY, HOPE YOU HAD A FUN WEEK AT CAMP – HOPE ALL YOUR CABIN MATES & COUNSELORS WERE GREAT. 

SEE YOU TOMORROW – BEAU AND JACKIE.

JACKIE PS: SEE IF YOU CAN SNEAK HOME A BURGER OR TWO.

BEAU PPS: WHY DON’T THEY MAKE BOYKIN SPANIEL NOTE CARDS – THAT’S NOT FAIR.

JACKIE PPPS: IF NO BURGERS, HOT DOGS WORK JUST FINE 😊

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Make Your Camper's Week - Thursday

Kim D.

It's Thursday! 


Oh man! Mom said that I had to stay in my crate this morning until I wrote you a letter. Can you believe it? I sure as heck am not going to spend a lot of time on this one! Well, I have been prepared for just such an “emergency” with my fill-in-the-blank letter … so here goes. I’ll just put an “X” in front of my answers and I’ll be done in no time!

Dear Bailey,

Yesterday was a ___boring, ___exciting, ___wonderful, ___splendid, ___magnificent, _X__messed up day. Well, it all started when _ X __I woke up, ___I tripped on your Nintendo Switch, ___ Dad yelled at me, ___Mom yelled at me, ___the sun came up.

Well, anyways, after I woke up, I ___went to the bathroom, __ X _tripped on your Nintendo Switch and broke it, ___thought about chasing squirrels. Then I ___ ate, ___ chewed on my tail, ___ chased Jackie, __ X _ got the Chick Fil A Cowie.

It was then getting to be _ X __ naptime, ___ lunchtime, ___ midnight so I ___went to my crate, ­­­_ X __ jumped on the couch. When I got there, I found out that _ X __ Mom was already there, ___ no one else was there,

But things got better. Instead of napping, I ___ chased Jackie ___ tried to fix your Nintendo Switch, __ X _ chewed Cowie’s tail (du-uh!).  Anyways, later on, I ___ate lunch, ___ate a doggie snack, ___ napped in my crate, _ X __found $10 you dropped on the floor (I guess). With all that loot, I decided to spend it on  ___V bucks, ___ bones, _ X __ bacon.

You’re probably wondering about the weather. Well, yesterday it was ___sunny,     ___ X __ raining all day, ___cloudy, ___sort of cold, ___better than at your camp!
Well, that’s about it. When I think of you, I think about ___how much I miss you, ___how much I don’t like writing letters, _ X __how much fun you must be having.

Love,
___Your favorite dog, ___your very best dog, _ X __ Cowie Stealer.



Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Make Your Camper's Week - Wednesday

Kim D.

It's Hump Day now - I know my son will be excited to receive his next letter - Enjoy Wednesday.



HEY BAILEY,

OK, BEAU SERIOUSLY NEEDS HELP.  HE’S OBSESSED WITH MY COW. YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME . . .


. . . EVERYTIME HE SEES ME PLAYING WITH COWIE, HE TAKES IT AWAY.
SINCE THIS IS CRITICAL, I LOOKED UP CHICK FIL A’S NUMBER –



BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE MOM’S CELL PHONE.  CAN YOU HELP A PUP OUT WHEN YOU GET HOME? I NEED ANOTHER COW WITH EARS!


HAVE YOU WRITTEN ME A LETTER YET – (LOOK AT THE PICTURE ON THE NOTECARD AND PICTURE ME SAYIN DIS.)


MUCH LUV,

JACKIE

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Make Your Camper's Week - Tuesday

Kim D.

Continuing from yesterday, today our son will receive this card and continuation of dog tales.  This is a more interactive one - like Mad Libs which our kid loves.


Dear (camper’s name ___________) ,

This is a special letter – and it’s just for you! It’s a little silly and it’s a lot made up. I hope you enjoy this and have a great time at camp!


As we always say, it’s a lot more fun to be at camp than to be at home. But all sorts of crazy things happened here this week! Yesterday it rained (animal) ___________s and (animal) ____________s. With so much rain, it didn’t look like we’d be able to play (favorite sport) ____________outside. So instead we just sat at (place) ___________ and spent a little time (indoor activity) ________________ .

It looked like it was going to be OK until (person) _____________ came over to say that their car was stuck in the (something messy) _________________ . Of course we went outside and tried to remove it from the (something outdoors) _________________ but it just wouldn’t (verb) ______________ !

I was not (an emotion) _____________ at all but then I started to (verb) _____________ . That’s when (person) ______________ came over to ask what was wrong. I started to spin around faster and faster. What was happening? Suddenly I heard my alarm clock ringing and I woke up to a sunny day. It was all a dream!


Ha, Ha – save this letter and bring it home filled out.  Hope you have a great Tuesday!  Beau.

PS – Yeah, I would like a new Chick Fil A cow – Jackie has one.

Monday, June 10, 2019

Make Your Camper's Week - Monday

by Kim D.

If you have a young camper in your family, sending daily notes can brighten his or her day and can help ward off any homesickness.  This year our 9 year old is going to two week-long camps, I did this last year and it was a big hit with my son, his counselors, and all his cabin mates.  My inspiration is our dogs, Beau and Jackie, and coming up with some conflict that runs throughout the week. Enjoy Monday's note below.



HEY BAILEY,

REMEMBER HOW WE SENT YOU LETTERS EACH DAY LAST TIME YOU WENT TO CAMP? WELL, THIS YEAR BEAU AND I EXPECT ONE – LOOK INSIDE YOUR NOTEBOOK AND YOU WILL FIND A NOTE TO SEND US.  WE EXPECT A FULL REPORT OF . . .

  • WHAT THE FOOD IS LIKE
  • HOW MANY SQUIRRELS YOU’VE SEEN
  • ARE THERE ANY COOL TOYS AT CAMP LIKE BALLS, SQUEAKY TOYS, STICKS, OR BONES?

HOW DO YOU LIKE THE NOTECARDS MOM FOUND?  REMEMBER WHEN I LOOKED LIKE THE PICTURE ON THIS CARD? IT’S BEEN A YEAR AND A HALF OF GOOD TIMES WITH YOU SO FAR.

SO, WHAT DID YOU DO YESTERDAY NIGHT? CAMPFIRE? MARSHMELLOWS? THIS MORNING DAD TOOK US FOR A WALK.  IT WAS TONS OF FUN AS USUAL – SAW A BUNCH OF SQUIRRELS BUT COULDN’T CATCH A ONE .

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT CHICK FIL A TOY? THE ONE WITH NO EARS AND TONS OF SLOBBER?  IT’S MINE, RIGHT? 

BEAU TRIES TO TAKE IT WHENEVER I FIND IT TO PLAY AND IT’S STARTING TO IRRITATE ME A BIT.  IF YOU SEE ANOTHER CHICK FIL A WHILE YOU ARE GONE, SEE IF THEY HAVE ANOTHER. I’D RATHER HAVE A NEW ONE AND LET HIM HAVE THIS RATTY, EARLESS ONE 😊

OK, SMELL YOU LATER – I’VE GOT A NAP TO TAKE,

MUCH LUV,

JACKIE

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Rocker's Wail



by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

Surrounded as I am here in Decatur/Atlanta by Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Liberal Democrat RINO Socialist Fascist Commie Social Justice Warrior-types who are #RadicallyShatbitCwazy, I wrote this song to help me stay in touch with the balance that brings sanity.

I think you might like it.



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