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| At it again...all for you. |
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
First they came for straws in a restaurant. What's next?
Breaking down doors and pointing guns at kids while straws are snatched from their mouths and they see their parents hauled off to the gulag?
Boys and girls, I am all for looking after the environment, but how one goes about it is usually the problem. Get gubment P-HWPCLDRSFCs* involved and see how that turns out. I shall say just five words that will tell you all you need to know:
Prohibition. The War On Drugs.
That's right. Starting in 1920, alcohol, or as we say here in the South: alkeeHAUL, became illegal to drink, produce, transport, or sell. Thirteen years and many deaths at the hands of the new gangs running the rum later, somebody called a halt to that silliness.
Then the nation and a whole heap of the rest of the world got distracted from alkeeHAUL what with fighting Fascism, Socialism, and Communism, and what not so that, come 1971, President Richard Nixon, who never broke a law in his life**, ended the Vietnam War and started another.
The War On Drugs is still going on here in 2018, 34 years longer than the ban on the demon drink. This silliness is still going on.
Even Donald "The Hammer" Trump, who is himself not a partaker of drugs and drink, is agreeing The War On Drugs is out of hand. After Kim Kardashian West gave him some information on one casualty of this war, "The Hammer" looked into it.
He then commuted the sentence of one Alice Marie Johnson who had one — count it: ONE! — tiny non-violent drug offense and had been sentenced to life without possibility of parole. Now that it looks like this war is ending, though, P-HWPCLDRSFC, who claim they do not like war, have now started —
The War On Straws.
One can only assume the City Council of Santa Barbara, California, featuring Cathy, Jason, Randy, Oscar, Kristen, Eric, and Gregg (see complete names and mailing addresses below) have nothing better to do than start The War On Straws. You think I jest? Ha. Look at just some of the official language they have released. Please note: Like all sneaky grabbers of power do, they upped the ante. I excerpt pertinent parts:
This ordinance shall take effect on the 31st day following its adoption, but shall not become operative until 2:01 a.m. on January 1, 2019.
9.165.030 Sale or Distribution of Plastic Beverage Straws Prohibited. A. It shall be unlawful for any food provider or beverage provider to use plastic beverage straws, or to provide, distribute, or sell plastic beverage straws to any person. B....Non-plastic alternative straws shall only be provided upon request. C....Of course, the first to be in big trouble with the S-SS, or Straw Schutzstaffel, will be the servers. Everybody knows how hard it is to keep that ever-rotating group trained. Brave and brilliant business owners, already under a massive amount of government regulation and yet manage to somehow keep the lights on, employ others, and make a profit, will be the next targeted group.
9.165.040 Upon Request Provision of Plastic Cutlery or Stirrers. It shall be unlawful for any beverage provider or food provider to provide plastic cutlery or plastic stirrers...: (1) the beverage provider or food provider first asks that person whether they want to receive..., or (2) the customer affirmatively requests....The KGB has to be laughing their asses off as they make fun of the undercover CIA operatives at their cocktail parties. But it gets worse. As P-HWPCLDRSFC care so much, their next provision for lawful use of plastic straws involves government-approved emergency response teams and...
Hold on to your hats...
C....3. The food provider or beverage provider provides, distributes, or sells a plastic beverage straw to a person for whom non-plastic alternatives are unsuitable due to a mental or physical condition that qualifies as a disability pursuant to the Americans with Disabilities Act (42 USC § 12102).Holy cow. Now the City Council of Santa Barbara wants servers to ask for proof that somebody qualifies as disabled before they can get a damn plastic straw?
All that proves is the P-HWPCLDRSFC are into dividing people into classes based on weaknesses instead of allowing everyone to go with their strengths.
What say you?
Shall we send the City of Santa Barbara, Kal-I-Forn-Eye-Aye, a packet of straws for each member of the City Council. I did not see where it was against The War On Straws to receive straws as a gift, though I well imagine that redo of the ordinance language will follow shortly upon the Council members' receivership of the nations' gifts.Should you decide to send straws, please address your packages to:
City Hall
Attn: Council Member recipient name here.
735 Anacapa Street
Santa Barbara, CA 93101
Shall we say, one package each for the following? Mayor Cathy Murillo, and other Council members Jason Dominquez, Randy Rowse, Oscar Gutierrez, Kristen Sneddon, Eric Friedman, and Gregg Hart.
* P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
** You will have surmised major comedic irony in this statement, right?
