Hey, Crunk News Network: Hashtag this.

by Angela K. Durden

Crunk News Network is fooling no one. More awesome memes. Let's get on a #CNNBlackmail watch.

Hump Day Hypocrisy: Ol' Hil and Vlad yuck it up to Let's Make a Deal.

by Angela K. Durden


Crunk News Network and other MSM outlets yucked it up right along with Vlad and Hillary except they never told anybody about the dirty deals.

If Crunk News Network or any other MSM outlet mentioned anything about the sale of uranium to Vlad, or the paying of any of those high "speaker fees" (ironic quotes intended), it was always in the context of declaring Hillary to be the smartest woman in the world and Bill just a great old guy to have at a party because he was so damn cute and just loves the women, doncha know.

Jerome Hudson on Breitbart.com did a fine job of summarizing the Clinton-Putin cabal. Read it here, folks.

Don't forget. Ol' Hill, long in the tooth but still with hopes of being prez, and Ol' Lech Hisself have raised the next generation of users and abusers. They are playing the long game. They intend to win.

Too bad the Clintons are in the U.S. because the biggest majority of us don't cotton to such shenanigans and when we find out about them, we start with the push back.

Make no mistake about it: Ol' Hill and Ol' Lech Hisself are feeling the push back. Who had to shut down their foundation?

Keep up the pressure, y'all. Strike those metaphorical matches under their boohineys and watch 'em dance.

This Hump Day Hypocrisy is brought to you by

Crunk News Network loses the meme war.

by Angela K. Durden

#CNNBlackmail: Historical archives of Crunk News Network

by Angela K. Durden 


"We do not do fake news," says Crunk News Network show host way back when. Oh, yes, this video compilation is worth it.

#CNNBlackmail: Part Doh! or Sex Sells

by Angela K. Durden 

CNN has seen double-digit growth in viewership (see Variety). Doh! 

Then again, is that double-digit growth for real? It is no secret that the Nielsen system for ratings has been under fire for a long time. Throw fast technology changes into the mix and you can begin to see why AdAge says:

"...by the time Nielsen develops, tests and deploys ways to measure viewing on an emerging platforms, consumers are now likely to have moved on yet again."  

The new wrinkle in this ratings war? The networks are gaming Nielsen's ratings systems. In other words, the fox is being allowed to watch the henhouse. (See this Verge article, this other AdAge article, and this Cinemablend article about the deliberate misspellings of show names in self-reporting.) Doh!

Given the deliberate gaming going on, Variety's breathless headline about CNN's viewership growth is more than a little bit suspect. 

You know what? Let me rewrite the above sentence to reflect reality. I shall now quote myself, only more bluntly, which technically would make it a paraphrase:

"Since the networks are deliberately misspelling the names of their own shows, and since Nielsen is allowing these same networks to self-report, I find it more than disconcerting that Variety — a Penske Media company — would allow such reports in that industry rag...errrrr...I mean mag...azine." 

All this to say that I do not believe current reports about CNN's double-digit viewership growth. 

What's a beleaguered advertising buyer have to do these days in order to have confidence in their messaging portals and get a decent ROI? 

Doh! That had to hurt.





I have a suggestion. Hire me. I will be happy to become CNN's new on air talent that could go head-to-head against Nick at Nite by singing children's ditties. 

I've been told that sex sells and since I don't think anybody on cable or network news understands what real sex is, heck, I could put on my Jazz Singer outfit and sing a torch version of PufferBillies that would never once tick off the censors by using innuendo, double entendre, and perfectly timed raises of eyebrows that would keep viewers coming back for more. Oh, yeah.

Down at the station
Early this morning A puffer billy was lined up ready to go. My little station master Twisted his little handle Puff, puff! And toot, toot! Off we go. Down at the station Early this morning See his shiny choo-choo begging to blow. Waitin' to get hitched up, Go on our adventure. Chug, chug. Puff, puff. Off we go. Down at the station Early this morning. Climb aboard, And make my whistle blow. Mr. Conductor, please punch my ticket. Puff, puff! And toot, toot! Off, off, off we go.

In Torch Singer mode, I could take Crunk News Network's ratings straight through the roof. Rachel Maddow and her smug smirk could not keep up.

#CNNBlackmail: List of the network's advertisers

by Angela K. Durden

According to reports, Media Research Center lists the following companies as advertisers on CNN. I believe the case could be made that these companies have been getting gypped for a while now. I know they are getting gypped now. 

In the list below I have put an asterisk (*) next to the ones I do business with. Frankly, I do not want friends of mine losing their jobs because their companies went out of business due to a boycott. I mean, I know a helpful Ace Hardware Man; great customer service, this dude, right? 

#CNNBlackmail

At the same time, aren't companies supposed to choose to place their ad dollars with networks and newspapers that are supposed to make them look good by association? 

I think so. So whaddaya say, Ace and Aleve and AT&T and all the rest? 

Which CEO will have a quiet word in the ear of the network head and, oooooh...I don't know, tell them to stop it with stupid posturing and the blackmailing of Citizen Journalists — no matter their age, followed up with that ever-so-clever phrase "or else we'll have to rethink our ad dollar placement?" 

Hmmmm? 
Anybody? 
Hello?

AC Pro. Ace Hardware*. Aleve*. Alfa Romeo. Allegra. American Petroleum Institute. Audi. AT&T*.

Bayer*. Behr Paints*. BMW.

Cars.com. Century Link. Chamonix. Clear Choice.

Dell. Expedia. Exxon Mobil.

Hewlett-Packard*. Hilton. Infiniti. Jos. A Bank. Lexus.

Marriott*. McDonald’s*. Men’s Wearhouse. Mini Cooper. Michelob. Microsoft*. 
Mercedes-Benz.

National Car Rental. National Education Association. Optum.

Panera*. Pom Wonderful. Prudential.

Stelara. Sleep Number Beds. Stella Artois.

TD Ameritrade. Tempurpedic. US Postal Service*. 

Vistaprint. Vita Coco. Whole Foods*.