Sunday, April 29, 2018

How to Rise to Power Like a Boss...errrr...I mean...Dictator

A proper breakfast for 
your Citizen Journalist.
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

April 29, 2018, 7:30 AM. It is a Sunday morning and it is cool on my balcony. I eat a breakfast of uncured bacon, grilled sourdough toast, and two eggs over medium. Strawberry jam is there for the spreading. Enjoying my cup of made-from-scratch hot chocolate and reading an invigorating book, I realized something about a friend of mine and I got quite sad.

This realization came as the absolute proof of something I've said for years: Stupid is bone deep, and we all know you can't cure stupid.

Now, my stupid friend is as nice as can be. And caring. But so, so stupid when it comes to the world. My friend is a P-HWPCDLRSFC*.

I know! You are asking how it is that your Citizen Journalist could have such a friend, but there is something to say for pleasant company as long as the conversation stays on men and music and cocktails. Besides, we have something in common and this friend is very good at that thing, so...yeah...there is that.

However, it dawned on me that it is because of people like my friend that dictators rise to power. See, stupid people believe everything they hear. No matter what. As long as they believe it to be caring. Stupid might be another name for sucker because suckers never think to question.

There are some very smart stupid people out there, let me tell you. In the business arena I'm specifically thinking about investors in Spotify, UMG, and WorldCom, to name a mere handful. Relying on numbers given them by the very people asking for money, investors believe the lies shoveled about — let me stop choking on the irony here — earnings reports.

See? Stupid! Same in politics, but a whole lot worse.

In investing, you can lose your shorts. In politics, you lose your freedom. Which, of course, is exactly what dictators want. So how does a dictator rise to power? Here's the how-to list:

  • Put on a rally and invite everyone.
  • Make big promises (chicken in every pot, phone for everyone).
  • Identify who lines up for the chicken and phone.
  • Identify who walks away muttering under their breath.
  • Tell lies so big they just have to be true.
  • Say you care more than those mean ol' hardworking stiffs.
  • Tell folks you will solve all their problems.
  • Subliminally reiterate "It's too complicated. Let the smart people do the thinking."
  • Take away or severely limit rights and freedoms.
  • Kill or otherwise silence those who mutter.
  • Tell those who lined up for the chicken and phone that those who want them to earn their chicken and phone are evil and should be mistrusted, if not destroyed.
  • Get stupid people to show up for a riot. 
  • Disappear into a penthouse suite high above the fray as the stupid people riot.
  • Avoid most of the initial dictator-setup messiness by inheriting a dictatorship from Daddy and then do all the above some more, including killing your uncles who also want to be dictator.

Of course, what all dictators know, whether they admit it or not, is that they are bullies. And all bullies understand power when they see it. Which is why bullies stop moving forward when real power faces them down.

Real power won't budge. Kim Jong Un — for the first time in his life — came up against real power in the form of the Trump Administration that said

No games. No playing footsie under the table. No winky-winky "this is for the camera, business as usual later" styling and profiling for the stupid people lined up for their chicken and phone.

"Stop it...or else."

3gDL Kim Jong Un
Our third-generation Dear Leader (3gDL) found himself in an awkward position. His country was not nearly as isolated as he thought it was. Even though he outlawed technology and told his people they could not talk to their neighbors in the world, he was beginning to be ignored.

Tourists pose with North Korean soldier
on the North Korean side of the DMZ.
We know this because pictures of North Korea began to surface from tourists who went there. Pictures that showed what the real country looked like. Documentaries about South Koreans being kidnapped and brought to North Korea to perform functions their uneducated masses could not do were distributed around the world. 

Then, when 3gDL acted all tough by rattling his nuclear sabers, and the P-HWPCDLRSFCs quaked in their little jackboots, that is when the Trump Admin said...

Stop it. Or else.

And what happened then. Why 3gDL huffed a bit more and poked out his chest and said

And the Trump Administration took another step in his direction, stared hard, and said:

Ah! 3gDL swallowed hard and took a look around.

His nukes aren't working. His concrete is failing. His country is crumbling. His people are starving and have nothing left to lose. His good Chinese buddies pretended not to know him anymore. 

The rumblings of 3gDL's slave class finally made it through the fog of his upbringing and personal delusions. 

And there was Donald "The Hammer" Trump fixin' to put the beat down on his sorry little ass. So, what happened?

The DMZ: Soon to be a museum visited by tourists.
Why, 3gDL decided it was time to join the 21st Century and make nice. And so, for the first time he crossed the DMZ and he signed the guest book at the Peace House and had dinner in South Korea with his wife, and the president of South Korea and his wife. 

But do stupid people understand any of this? No, they do not. They call bullies their friends and call tyrants those who fight to protect them. 

And that, dear friends, is why we, who do understand, must be ever vigilant. We may be doomed to watch history repeat itself, but we don't have to let it go on as long each time. 

P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Family Feud: My family would never make it on the show.

This would be my family on the show.
Still chewing over our responses but never
answering before the buzzer sounds.
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

Family Feud. I am of two minds about this show. One: I love it. Steve Harvey is the best host of the show ever. The stage is great. And the families all dress so uptown.

Even the Preggers Sisters manage to match dress colors with Grandma and Brother and Single Sis. 

They all smile and laugh and seem so good-natured and loving and kind. Even if some of them are dumb as bricks, they still make good entertainment, right? Right. Of course, the audience picks the answers, so that is always entertaining to find out what is on the collective whole's mind. 

My second mind says: I hate it — for all the above reasons. 

You see how torn I am. Here is America in all her glory displayed in TV-approved fashion guaranteed to entertain, maybe titillate just a tweensy bit, but never ever offend.  

That is not my family. We wouldn't make it past the application to audition. First, we will not wear matching colors. Our tastes run to the spots, checks, stripes. Business casual? What's that? 

If they were still alive, I could hear Awesome Aunt Number One saying, "They want us to match colors? Oh, for goodness sake. You ever hear of anything so silly?"

Awesome Aunt Number Two would naturally reply, "You are right, Sister. I do not see why we cannot just wear our regular everyday clothes that fit our color pallet. I mean, I could get something pink, but the last time I did that I looked like I was ready for the grave."

Then there would be the uncles. "Awww...hell, no." And that would be that. You would think the cousins would somehow want to have such an adventure, but I can hear them now. 

"I can't stand that long anymore...then there's my prostate..."
"I can't see the board...and there's my blood sugar..."
"Those questions are stupid...who cares?"
"Dress in the same colors? Forget it. Hey, if they want me on the show, they will buy me some new clothes."

That is my father's side of the family. I have four siblings, only one of which is related to my father. But they wouldn't do it, either. 

"What are they trying to pull anyways?"
"Tie? Awww HALEnaw."
"Will they let me wear my knife? No? But I'll wear my dress knife. It ain't got no knicks or dings or grease or pine tar or nothing. "

But let's say we did manage to come to agreement on clothes.

We still wouldn't win. We wouldn't even score. The buzzer would sound before we could even get an answer out and there's a really good reason for that: We are all super smart.

That's right. You heard me say it: We. Are. Super. Smart. We would have several answers that nobody would ever have thought of that, when we said them, the audience would all shut up in amazement that they had not thought of such things. That itself would entail massive conversation further ramping up production costs.

And we are very independent-minded people. That means we don't know how to relate to the masses except in a Socratic fashion, that is, we ask the question then answer it.

Besides, many of us are storytellers. So, let's say a question comes up with four top answers. Okay? And that question is "Name a country that seems to tell other countries what to do." 

This was a real question. The audience's answers were: U.S. (81), Iraq (8), France (6), Russia (3).

Well, already we have a problem with providing a timely answer because the Air Force, Army, and Marines in the family would weigh in and off we would go with the war stories, none of which involved driving a big rig up and down the California cost or smoking marijuana while playing checkers waiting on the trailer to be loaded which is a story a certain ex of mine said his military service was all about.

No, my uncles and aunts were of what Tom Brokow called The Greatest Generation. But there I go. Getting into the storytelling again. Of course, for a writer that is not a bad thing for a reader. But for an audience in front of a live show being taped on a tight schedule with a rabidly strict dress code, it sure is. Let me get back on track. 

What if the question is "Besides chicken, tell me a type of bird that's good to eat"? (Another real question.) Again with the stories of chasing that tough old bird around the dirt yard and then getting interrupted by somebody with the rest of the story. All about how after all that chasing, it was the damn cat that cornered that cock under the porch and ate him all up and how Mama wasn't too worried about it as she made an extra pan of corn bread and the goats sure did output a lot of milk on that day.  

Oh, yeah. And you remember that cat and what he did to your friend's knuckle? You remember. Ol' what's-his-name that lived down the street and his pappy was a school bus driver.

Hahahahaha. Yeah. I remember he also worked in the grocery store as a...

No, he didn't work in the grocery store. That was Jimmy Joe's daddy that worked there and he was a bagger and stocker plus he had a bad knee that gave out on him but only when he took out the groceries for Baby Sister. You remember? He was always fainting dead away and claiming some other such ailment that Baby Sister could "fix."

Oh, yeah. That rotten apple didn't fall from the tree, either. Ol' what's-his-name...

Oh, my God. Do you see how we could not, as a family, answer in time? 

Steve Harvey would be staring at the family with his deadpan eyes, but the audience would be roaring at the stories. But is that the kind of real entertainment they want? 

Hell, no. They want entertainment served up pretty. Color coordinated. Like fast food. Always the same all the time. Guaranteed. 

Damn boring show.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

I bet he wore a pussy hat. I know he self-identified as a woosie.

by Angela K. Durden
"The Most Brilliant Woman in the World"

I once met a man who read a novel I wrote. He said, "I don't think I can hang out with you."

First of all, I don't know where he got the idea we were ever going to hang out, but that's another story and I'm sure I'll put it in a scene somewhere in a novel. I replied, "Huh?"

Durden Kell
"This book," he shuddered. "It's got murder and stuff like that." He whispered, "Really. Sick. Stuff."

His body recoiled at the thought of having to be in my presence much longer; as if I was Evil itself instead of merely using evil as a plot device so the good guys can shine as they outwit and catch the bad guy. I should've kept my mouth shut, but the perverse side of me couldn't let it go.

I stirred his pot a little more. With an easy smile, and in a casually cold voice, I said, "Well then, you certainly won't be able to handle the other novels I'm working on."

He took a step back, his eyes widened in fear, and he swallowed hard. "What?"

"Oh, yeah." I leaned into him. "The evil in this book is mere child's play compared to my other novels."

He couldn't speak. Fear nailed his feet to the floor. He was caught, well and good, in the Trap That Was Evil Angela the Sick Novelist.

I was tempted to say boo, but he might have dropped from a heart attack and then I would have had to give him CPR and that would mean touching a woosie. Now, that I fear.

Besides, and quite frankly, I didn't want him beholden to me for his life because the dichotomy for the poor fellow would have been too huge and might have led to psychiatric facilities and a drain on taxpayers. As a good and proper citizen, I do not want to harm my fellow citizens.

Plus, can you imagine him telling people it was Evil Angela the Sick Novelist that saved his life?

Instead of boo and an evil laugh, I gently said, "Are you for real? I'm mean...really? You are afraid of me because of what I wrote?"

He nodded affirmative. I felt sorry for the man. Here, standing in front of me, was a man so beaten down by the long-term campaign of the RadFem's guerrilla war that he had lost all his manliness. That must be a terrible way to live.

Can any of you men reading this imagine living like that? No, you cannot because you are a real man.

I said to the fellow, "Then you might not want to ever try to meet another author or writer for things like movies and TV shows and such. You see, we're all like this."

I bet he wears his favorite pussy hat when he and his friends march for women's rights. Now it's my time to shudder. 

Monday, April 23, 2018

The Phil Donahue Effect: Braco the Gazer

Neither Snickers Bar nor Mars, Incorporated,
have paid Angela for her endorsement...
and that is a frickin', cryin' shame.

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant — and Funniest — Woman in the World
They used to call it a staring contest.

Now the P-HWPCDLRSFC women say gazing — at a man, — gives them a sense of purpose, of... of... connectedness. Paying for the privilege is worth it because it helps them center themselves and get in touch with their strong inner wounded lioness. Oh, the irony is just like, going, you know, like, all over the, you know, like, like...crawling all over me.

Women flock to Braco the Gazer, their newest guru, because he's a man who stares in their eyes and doesn't say anything. They can then put any meaning on it they want. They can take this profound moment home and...

Hang tight just one frickin' minute.

I already know where this is going. It is called "The Phil Donahue Effect."

These women will all go home to their menfolk and then hound them to death with "Why can't you be more like Braco? He wouldn't do [insert trivial first-world-problem crime against woman here]. Braco would just... just... read my heart and... and... understand!"

Look, ladies, when Braco goes home to his significant other and she asks him to take out the trash, I can double gare-O-damn-tee ya what the conversation will be. Let's listen in, shall we?


The mudroom door from the garage swings open and slams shut. Braco's Significant Other (BS-O) hears Braco the Gazer (BG) kick off his faux snakeskin boots and cut the cheese with a loud rip. BG walks in to the kitchen. BS-O is at the sink, elbow deep in suds. Dinner simmers on the stove. Smells good and BG is hungry after a long day of gazing.

BS-O: Braco, honey, could you take the trash out, please?

BG: [Staring]

BS-O: Honey? Did you hear me? Could you —

BG: [Interrupting BS-O] Good God, woman! Can't you give me just one frickin' minute to unwind before cuttin' loose with your Honey-Do List?

BS-O: [Wrinkling her nose as cheese scent reaches her but also staring back at BG]

BG:  What?!? WHAT?!?!

BS-O: [Staring some more.]

BG: [Staring at BS-O]

BS-O: [Sighs]

BG: What does [copies sigh of BS-O] mean?

BS-O: [Putting on her Mama voice] Take the trash out or you know Daddy won't be getting any of that healing he likes so much for a month, right?

BG: [Staring]

BS-O: [Staring]

BG: [Executes a smart turn on his heel as he searches for the container] Where is that trashcan, darlin'?

BS-O: [Pointing] That's my good boy. Hurry up, now. Dinner is almost ready.

BG: [Yanking bag from can and heading out the door] Yes, ma'am.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Unconscious Bias Training: Yeah, Starbucks' schizoid approach to business is not working.

Angela the Anonymous.
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

First they came for Zookerbug
and I spoke up.
Did I get any thanks?
I did not.
Then they came for Starbux
and I spoke up.
Did I get any thanks?
I did not.
But when they come for me,
Zookerbug and Starbux will be silent.

Bad derivation of the famous poem, but what do you expect when writing about P-HWPCDLRSFC* companies who have served their Deep State masters until those turned on them?

Liberal Socialist Fascist Commie ideology has never inspired a great stringing together of words. Have you ever tried to read Mein Kampf or The Unabomber Manifesto: Industrial Society and Its Future? Self-focused, overly romantic, and narrow viewpoints were not only boring to read, but lead to great destruction for destruction's sake with never a thought as to how to actually build.

In other words, Adolf and Ted alike were so focused on what went wrong in their own lives, they assumed everybody else felt the same. But they must have known, deep down in their heart of hearts that maybe, just maybe, they were wrong. Otherwise, why would Adolf have to lie to his own people, throwing generations of them under the bus, by calling his blatantly Marxist ideology Social Democracy? Otherwise, why would Ted remain anonymous and kill and maim for almost 20 years as a domestic terrorist?

Starbucks has just done the same thing to their managers and employees — and their paying customers — with their Socialist Fascist Commie Unconscious Bias Training.

Here's how they've done it.

Starbucks managers are responsible for sales numbers in their stores. Corporate is not interested in maintaining sales. No, managers are required to build those numbers.

In order to build those numbers, certain controls must be in place. Cost controls such as employee hours, shrinkage, and facility maintenance are musts with little wiggle room.

For those controls to work, somebody must make hard decisions. Who works when and for how long. How to keep customers and employees from walking off with products displayed in the store. And making it easy for paying customers to have a place to sit.

Starbucks managers' feet are held to the fire if they miss any Corporate-mandated profit goals.

And now store managers have to worry about reading minds? And identifying cheapskate social justice warriors wanting to use their facilities for their Campaign HQ? And now being told that the company they work for has always been a racist company whose goal is to control public spaces?

Really? How insane can you get?

However, here is what is most ironic about all of this.

Just as Facebook and Zuckerberg found themselves attacked by the Deep State and many other Liberals including #CrunkNewsNetwork crowd, so has that self-righteous bastion of How To Be the Best Liberal Company Ever — Starbucks — found themselves in the crosshairs.

Neither understands that no matter how much they do for the cause, P-HWPCDLRSFC will never be happy with anything they do because it will never be enough. And because they so want to please the crowd and have the crowd love them, they end up pleasing no one and being unloved.

With their Unconscious Bias Training, Starbucks' knees buckled to the psychosis of political correctness, and in so doing, they painted targets on their stores, their employees, and their customers. 

Starbucks needs to decide what business it is in and then do that. This schizoid approach to business is not working.

P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies

Friday, April 20, 2018

Fire sneaks in and says "Boo!"

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

What does an incense factory in India have in common with Trump Tower, Hillary Clinton's compound, Rome's English College, a housing complex in Alexandria, everywhere in Los Angeles, Purgatory Mountain, and each Christmas season since the beginning of the installation of electric bulbs on dry, fuel-filled trees?

That's right. They each get headlines and stand-up reporters that scream — 


I did a news search on Goo-Goo-oogle on that phrase. It is used so much that 8,500,000 results were returned. Of course, the search engine, being ever helpful, limited what I saw to everything that was not repeated or were similar. Specifically, when I got to the end of the 32 pages of results they showed, I got this message —

So I clicked "repeat the search with omitted results included." More of the same. Two conclusions here. One, so many people sharing the same news that is it clear why MSM is such an inbred group. And two, this search algorithm is one that actually works for the good of mankind.

All this got me to thinking about the use of language and how we could better describe the activities of fires. Just once I would like to hear another way fire got there or, once arrived, what it did, you know? Right? Like these headlines instead:


Fire sneaks in and says boo!

Fire Chief says, "Oh, that fire. Such a prankster. Scared the family just a little bit, but no harm, no foul, right?"

Fire forced itself through the door.

Family says, "We thought it was a serial killer rambling around the attic. Imagine how happy we were to find it was only fire."

Fire flared fitfully.

Living next door to the house that fire tried to burn down, Mr. Brown told this reporter, "The thing is, we weren't exactly sure what the fire was going to do. See, we watched it as it tried to make up its mind. First it sort of flickered a bit, but then we didn't see it. Then it jumped up like a know like a pole vaulter. Pretty good form, if I do say so myself. But then it sort of hunkered down and went away. Me and the Mizzuzz sure was surprised when it broke a window and jumped out."

Reluctant flames happily surrender to water.

"This fire was reluctant. We wish all fires surrendered that easily," said first responders. "I mean, we thought this was going to be a five-alarmer, but we got here and threw a little water on it and it gave up just like that!"

See, better use of language sure would sell more newspapers. 

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Def Leppard - Ziggy Stardust (Live - Acoustic)

I Talk To The Wind (Live)

First, get rid of the competition.

At it again...all for you. 
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

The problem with non-mainstream sources of news and opinion is that they are called The Competition.

Fake news has been around since the beginning of time. One name for it is gossip. Another is called propaganda. The first is purely entertainment. The second is a sneaky tool used by those who seek power or want to secure that which they have.

How do they secure power? The first way is by controlling the flow of information. Hitler did a fine job of that and his citizens were none the wiser, partying, carrying on like nothing had changed, as if they were winning the war.

Until, that is, the bombs began falling on their cities. All of a sudden, Germans got woke big time. Only it was too late for them to do anything about Hitler and a stronger force came into play on their behalf to solve their problem.

There are those who learn from history but are doomed to watch others repeat it. 

The Department of Homeland Security is getting ready to repeat it. The agency is seeking bids from contractors who can build them one big-ass database. What will the big-ass database do? It will be used to track and monitor media influencers, including bloggers like your Citizen Journalist, and news and opinion outlets like Righting on the Wallz.

All this effort to combat that scourge called Fake News. Only we know what it really is. It is a move by the Deep State to get rid of competition. Citizen Journalists are a real threat to the Deep State, and the Deep State knows it. Why else would they be throwing such a massive amount of money at them.

The Deep State is not afraid of the Russian influence on social media. Nor is it afraid of #CrunkNewsNetwork, FLOTSAM*, and other MSM. That is a ruse on the part of the Deep State because they already know what those are doing as they've given them their assignments.

What the Deep State is most afraid of are the truly woke citizens they claim to want to protect. Those Citizens who — through research, humor, satire, fiction, and more — tell what is really going on.

So what is really going on? The Deep State (and there is Deep State in every country in the world) have one goal: Deny freedom for the masses.

The only thing that keeps the Deep State in check are the likes of you and me. We are their enemy because we represent honor, fair play, and other God-given virtues — and we are willing to fight tooth and nail to secure God-given rights for all.

Getting and staying woke is a never-ending job for the diligent of heart and mind.

FLOTSAM: For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Your righteous indignation is my overreaction? Wait...I'm confused.

Angela the Anonymous.
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

If you didn't see the story wherein two black males were arrested and perp-walked out the front door of a Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, US, Starbucks, well then, it is obvious you aren't woke enough.

The woman who filmed it on her smart phone immediately put it up on YouTube wherein, self-reported by herself, within two days 4.5 million hits were accrued. The news story about her hits had her gushing madly about the video going viral. This report of her viral video showed up almost before the story hit the FLOTSAM* mainstream media.

But that report barely mentioned a peep about the incident itself.

The denouement came fast enough when the Starbucks store manager and Corporate came to an agreement that their work relationship would end, after which CEO Kevin Johnson says — caring drum roll, please — they will implement Unconscious Bias Training.

Next came protesters. Signs were hoisted (Is she fired or nah?) Chants were heard (Starbucks Coffee is anti-black! and Anti-blackness anywhere is anti-blackness everywhere!)

Then came the Bacefook posts from my peeps ranting against all Starbucks and their employees everywhere and calling them racists.

I've been in many Starbucks. Everybody gets treated the same: Order is taken with a disdainful smile and burnt coffee is served with bored affect.

It is at times like this Angela wishes she could remain truly anonymous in her postings on social media. Yes, Angela K. Durden, The Most Brilliant Woman in the World, did something stupid: She told a black man that she knows in real life, V—, that he was overreacting in his condemnation of all the company's employees.

I thought V— would understand my comment since he was protesting the overreaction of one person (the manager) about two guys (black) waiting for their friend (white). You see, V— believes his overreaction is righteous indignation and that trumps everything else.

But did V— ask what caused the manager's reaction in the first place?

No, he did not. 

Not only did V— not understand Angela's comment, before she knew it Angela was being villified, called names, and so forth by both her friend and his friends. She also received massively long messages that, by the time she got to the end of them, made her realize the man must be mentally unstable.

I'm serious. This is not me throwing about mentally unstable as if it was a silly last-ditch diss, but me truthfully worried about him. What's worse is there is nothing I can do except...


Notice I did not say Unfriend him. That would simply be too cruel because he would notice. And then he would kill himself. And next thing you know I'd be hounded by the SM police. (Gitcher head out of the gutter. SM stands for Social Media, not Sado Masochistic. Geez, you people.)

So unfollow it was. That just means his posts won't show up on my feed and that I have to go looking for him. At least...that's what unfollow used to mean, but what with all the algorithm changes, I bet you somebody somewhere has flagged communications between us and will now make his stuff show up as soon as I log on so they can start a war.

FLOTSAM: For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

Monday, April 16, 2018

J. Brien to George Stephanopoulos: "But...but...but...I thought Ol' Hill would WIN!"

At it again...all for you.

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

Former G-Man J. Brien Comey is whining his way through the FLOTSAM** talk show circuit as he flogs his book, A Higher Loyalty, to a bunch of P-HWPCDLRSFC*.

Poor J. Brien. Back-peddling fast as he can to rewrite his place in history. I am very good at writing resumes for people while never lying on their behalf or twisting the facts. But even I, Angela K. Durden, The Most Brilliant Woman in the World, couldn't help the man with his personal advertisement without lying. I hope he has some money tucked away.

Oh, sure. Just after Trump fired Comey a historically black university hired him to deliver five lectures. But what is next? Will Howard University re-up J. Brien? Depends on who is paying his salary. I doubt it will be Clinton, Inc. endowing his chair.

J. Brien has been vilified as the man who lost Ol' Hill her seat at the most powerful desk in the world by leaking more emails from Clinton's famous private server. J. Brien had in his hands proof the woman and her minions played loosey-goosey with top secret information.

Ex G-Man J. Brien Comey fast talking like another famous G-Man: J. Edgar Hoover.

J. Edgar Hoover: The pattern to follow for all G-Men Deep State wannabe's.

At first, J. Brien acted like everything was copacetic and it was merely we idiot citizens of the land that were reading too much into the situation. But then, Donald "The Hammer" Trump entered the race. J. Brien and all the other P-HWPCDLRSFC now knew for a certainty that Ol' Hill would win.

There was no other option but that she would send "The Hammer" home, crying in his high-fashion model wife's cleavage. Therefore, according to J. Brien, he knew he had to come clean with what the real situation was with Ol' Hill's famous server.

According to J. Brien, it was all CYA for him because if this information came out after she was elected — and it was almost certain that it would — then her presidency would be illegitimate; and doncha know that just wouldn't be good for the country, now would it?

And J. Brien, ever the loyal servant of King Deep State, could not abide a smear against his monarch. Therefore, he threw Ol' Hill under the bus. Which is where she needs to be and good riddance. But now J. Brien is left with a dilemma.

Who will hire him now? Not even Micky D's will have him to run the drive-thru window. I bet, under the guise of writing his book, J. Brien has been perusing his notes for where bodies are buried and secrets are stored. And for those who know he knows, I bet the ex G-Man has liberally sprinkled hints of those secrets throughout the body of the text.

Yes, like a good little Deep State G-Man would, J. Brien has a long memory and documentation to prove those memories. So, yeah. The boy will land on his feet somewhere. Titles he will have? Why, consultant, professor, lecturer.

P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
** FLOTSAM: For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Drinkin' Wine Spo-Dee-O-Dee (Live)

The Shape You're In

Technology is not the problem.

Angela the Curmudgeon
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

There I was. Nothing better to do than scroll through one of the biggest time-wasters on the planet when I saw a woman post a diatribe against all social media and cell phones.

She ranted. She raved. She did everything except make a sign and march in the streets. Oh, the evil she called down upon the heads of technology providers because they were making her and millions and millions and gabillions more waste their time.

Didn't they know she had better things to do?

Rant! Rave! Aaargh!

I almost replied to her, but then realized anything I would put on her timeline would make a little notification show up that she had been replied to, at which point the woman would've wasted more of her time by going to read what I wrote.

I did not want to add sorrow to the woman's troubles, therefore, I resisted making any remark that would have brilliantly shown up my curmudgeonly side and metaphorically put the verbal beat down on her.

Still, her remark got me to thinking. Don't you find it quite interesting that people will complain about a technology that is wasting their time as if it is the technology's fault time is being wasted instead of their own lack of self-control? I do.

And there are a bunch of these curmud-...errr...I mean people. Some of who claim loud and long on their time-waster of choice claim to be Conservatives. I believe them to be posers, P-HWPCDLRSFC* wolves in sheep's clothing because nobody who is really a conservative ever blames anybody else for their own lack of self control.

It just isn't done, son.

P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies

Friday, April 13, 2018

The Late Great Doug Fieger: Baby Talks Dirty

Eric Clapton - Blues Power (Johnny Cash Show Outtake - Audio Only)

Of cats and girlfriends and Queens.

Neither Snickers Bar nor
Mars, Incorporated,
have paid Angela
for her endorsement...
and that is a frickin',
cryin' shame.
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Poet-in-Residence. Goddess by the microphone.
And Queen of all she surveys. 

I have this friend, see. He's a widower and had two cats. I say had because one died. The one that died was a great cat. For me, a non-cat lover, to say that truly means something. What made the cat great? Easy answer.

He recognized I was the Queen. Yes, Queen with a Capital Q. I was the only human he never kicked out of his chair. My friend could not believe it. That was one smart cat; he was also comfortable in his own skin, so to speak. No ego with that handsome feline.

I was with him when he died. Strokes. Not pretty.

After Cat 1 died, Cat 2 now decided she was ruling monarch. The problem with deciding one is a ruling monarch and actually being one is that the latter is a fact and nothing on earth can change that, while deciding to be is a solely personal opinion.

So, Cat 2 decided to be, but Queen Angela was — and Cat 2 knows it. Which drives her crazy.

When Cat 1 was still with us, Cat 2 used to suck up to Queen Angela with purrs and invitations for petting because she knew I preferred him over her.

But Cat 2's jealousies of my actual monarchness drove her mad. Night and day, Cat 2 was tortured by her lack of monarchy. She would end up biting or scratching so that finally Queen Angela did not acknowledge Cat 2's approach as she begged for royal favor.

After Cat 1 died, Cat 2 assumed the crown would pass to her. Then I walked into the house and she was furious. Each time I enter, Cat 2 lets me know immediately she hates my guts and wishes I would die. Throwing death rays at me (they always miss or bounce off), she runs and hides. What makes it worse is that I don't care what she thought before Cat 1 died, and I don't care what she thinks now.

As a real monarch does, right?

My friend thought it was all quite amusing. Then he got a girlfriend. Girlfriend 1 (oh, you know where this is going) threw death rays at me, too, though he was mostly at her house so I didn't have to see that very often. That lasted 18 months, then she was gone.

Then along came Girlfriend 2 who eventually moved in. Here is where the story really gets funny. She is a P-HWPCDLRSFC* , and how! She is mad her boyfriend has a non P-HWPCDLRSFC female friend. Especially one as awesome as me. But as he told me one day, "Angela, girlfriends come and go, but monarchs are forever."

See? My friend was like Cat 1. No ego. Accepting of facts. Girlfriend 2, on the other hand, is like Cat 2; that was brought home to me the other day when I went over to take something to my friend. I'm handing the thing to my friend and we are talking about it when, out of the corner of my eye, I see scurrying and I thought, "That scurry is too big to be Cat 2."

Sure enough, it wasn't. Girlfriend 2 was running out of the room. She didn't want to see me. She didn't want to talk to me. But, you know, a monarch's got to have her fun every now and then, so of course I hollered, "Hey! How are ya?" And just like Cat 2 does when I mess with it, Girlfriend 2 stopped, twirled, and backed out of the room.

Throwing death rays that missed.

I didn't care. Still don't. 

P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Hashtag Wars: Big Brother Saves the Day!

At it again...all for you. 
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

Acccording to Big Brother's Food and Drug Administration commissioner Scott Gottlieb:

— If a hashtag mentions opioids, sales will accrue.

— Social Media Tech Giants (SMTG) are part of the opioid pipeline.

Scott Gottlieb,
FDA commisioner
And what is Mr. Gottlieb's two-pronged solution to the opioid crisis? 

One: It is to require SMTGs to stop drug pushers.

Two: It is to invite SMTG CEOs from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Reddit to attend a summit wherein a plan will be laid out to stop the latest crisis in the never-ending but stupid war on drugs. 

Typical Big Gubment solutions, wouldn't you agree? Don't go after the pushers, go after the roads they drive on. What kind of idiocy is this?

But they will acquiesce and make nice at Gottlieb's most very important garden party...especially after Facebook's giant meltdown over sales of user information to Ol' Hill's competition and Twitter's big but failing effort to get her elected by suppressing negative hashtags against her.

Assuming their houses were built on rock, these SMTGs built houses of cards on sand. They got the big heads about their role in social justice and societal engineering. They lied and misrepresented themselves to users while quietly stealing from them. And now two stiff winds are blowing and their houses are shaking.

Stiff wind number one is Big Gubment asking their dutiful dupes to take on a larger role in policing the world. 

Stiff wind number two are other social media tech companies who have been patiently waiting in the wings. One of those is a company called*. What do you think about their Bill of Rights?

Can the company deliver? I don't know. Because here are a few other things they have to say about their terms of service:

  • Violate any law or regulation. 
[Angela: Too open-ended. Any law? What if that law is itself unlawful?]
  • Send unsolicited or unauthorized advertising or commercial communications, such as spam. 
[Angela: One man's spam is another man's self-promotion. Again with the open-ended?]
  • Use automated methods to use the Site or Services. 
[Angela: I am checking with to see if this applies to them.]
  • Post unlawful, harmful, obscene, or pornographic content. 
[Angela: Who decides the status of these things?]
  • Post content that is hateful, threatening, harmful, incites violence; or contains graphic or gratuitous violence. 
[Angela: They have obviously never met a Radical Feminist or a P-HWPCDLRSFC**.]
  • Post content you do not have the right to transmit. 
[Angela: What about YouTube videos and other content like memes or images used in satire or comedy?]
  • Post content that infringes on trademarks or copyrights. 
[Angela: What denotes infringement here?]

See what I mean? Look, if all of this is CYA language that will keep them from being sued, then okay, I get it. But if is saying they are different, what's with the broad strokes here? 

* As of today, Sunday morning April 8 in the year of our Lord 2018, I'm testing this site. Here is the link to my profile: Tell me what you think about it.

** P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Charlton Heston: Monsters begin by confiscating private arms.

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

Charlton Heston: A quiet authority born of experience.

Charlton Heston, actor, died in 2008 at the age of 84. He saw the world's governments up close and personal as he traveled it for his job. He lived through the rise of Nazis, Socialism, and Fascism around the world and saw the deliberate tactics of inhuman dictators. He saw a rise of those things in the U.S. as attempts were made to destroy constitutional freedoms.

Because Mr. Heston remembered the history he lived through, he had no truck with these people who — through force of law, lies, bribery, and intimidation — dumped onto the U.S. citizenry an order of belief and action they did not like, did not want, and did not vote for.

Given all that, this is what Mr. Heston had to say to the National Press Club after he accepted the leadership position in the NRA:

“I say that the Second Amendment is, in order of importance, the first amendment. It is America’s First Freedom, the one right that protects all the others. Among freedom of speech, of the press, of religion, of assembly, of redress of grievances, it is the first among equals. It alone offers the absolute capacity to live without fear. The right to keep and bear arms is the one right that allows ‘rights’ to exist at all. 
“Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Mao, Idi Amin, Castro, Pol Pot. All these monsters began by confiscating private arms, then literally soaking the earth with the blood of tens and tens of millions of their people. Ah, the joys of gun control!
“There can be no free speech, no freedom of the press, no freedom to protest, no freedom to worship your god, no freedom to speak your mind, no freedom from fear, no freedom for your children and for theirs, for anybody, anywhere, without the Second Amendment freedom to fight for it.”

I rarely sit in front of the computer and watch a video. So that I did means you will not be sorry when you watch it. Please use THIS LINK to watch the entire video. 

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Ted Koppel: Where's your pussy hat?

At it again...all for you. 
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

Ted Koppel. The most-famous retired host of ABC's long-running news show Nightline and 42-year employee of the same network. A grand master of the subtle eyebrow twitch from which his opinion flows from on high. A man who said "the media is clearly on the side of more gun control" and wondered how it was, with that supreme knowledge, Congress still managed not to destroy the NRA with legislation.

Yes, that same man who famously told Sean Hannity he was bad for America, explaining further, "You are very good at what you do. You have attracted people who are determined that ideology is more important than facts."

Ted's not the most famous P-HWPCDLRSFC* in the country, but he's still spewing FLOTSAM* as fact. I wonder. Did Ted cry when Ol' Hill lost? Frankly, he was probably secretly relieved. But he'd never come out and say that publicly because it would be against the party line.

P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
*** FLOTSAM: For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

Monday, April 9, 2018

So overwhelmed...PuhLEEZE, give me a break.

Angela the Anonymous.
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

I've only had one birthday party in my life, and who was invited as a special guest of my pedophile stepfather? A pedophile friend of his who proceeded to act inappropriately toward me during the party. And who, a few nights later, managed to sneak into the house and into into my room proceeding to try to do what pedophiles do when my stepfather caught him and a struggle ensued.

Anyway, no, I am not complaining about the lack of birthday parties. I never liked the whole idea of celebrating my birth anyway and did not know why one was thrust upon me when I turned nine. I've consciously avoided having a party in which I am the focus of attention. I don't like it.

If the attention is to be on me, I want it to be because of something I'm doing, like performing. I want tickets or books to sell and applause to ring out because of a talent that I worked hard to hone, not because of the accident of my birth.

Which brings me to why I am writing this column. It's all those people on Facebook who say the same thing.

"I am so overwhelmed at all the birthday wishes from all of you..."

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. PuhLEEZE, give me a break. First of all, is this a sneaky Facebook algorithm run amuck? Or are they conducting a social experiment by showing these thank you posts and measuring response rates? Hmmmm...

Look, I've known many writers in my lifetime. I've studied the written word of geniuses and those who could rightly be described as not the sharpest knife in the drawer and one thing always holds true: Original writings never are the same.

So, after years of reading "I am so overwhelmed at all the birthday wishes from all of you...", yeah, I start smelling something nasty.

But let's just say that somehow millions of people are writing the exact same words. Okay? Pictured that in your mind? Then the question I have to ask is this:

Are they all mindless drones? 

If yes, then Lord help us.