Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Ghost Chickens In The Sky

Angela's Fuunneeee Du Jour: #6

Angela: Yeah, the jokes are always on her.
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Funniest Woman in the World

Hey, what do you call an underwater fart?
A depth charge!

Hahahahahahahaha. Yeah, that's the sort of thing I come up with when hanging out all day long while shootin' the Hooch in Helen, Georgia, with a kid who laughs too easy and thinks I'm just hilariously funny.

Her opinion is not wrong and I prefer to think of this child as one who has great discernment as opposed to her mother who, when I made jokes to her when she was growing up, simply wrinkled her nose and said, "MOM! Ewwww."

I tried to explain to my daughter that whole books [see below] have been written about farting, but that did not impress her. Thank goodness her daughter has more refined sensibilities and can laugh at God's little joke on mankind. Oh, yeah. God loves farts. Every time a fart is cut loose, God must giggle.

We know this because, being made in His image, well, who doesn't giggle when the wind is loosed? Everybody giggles...except teenage girls with bad attitudes who do not like their mother's jokes — but they don't count.

Internet search screenshot showing only a few of the books about God's little joke on mankind. 

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

It's pussy-hat season again, y'all.

At it again...all for you. 
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

You'd think they'd learn, wouldn't you? But #CrunkNewsNetwork and agony sisters FLOTSAM** are riling the P-HWPCDLRSFC* again with outlandish stories of Donald "The Hammer" Trump and how he caved to Vladimir Vladimirovich "Damn don't I look good riding a horse shirtless" Putin. 

That's right. According to the #CrunkNewsNetwork and FLOTSAM, it is time for all the good P-HWPCDLRSFC to break out their pussy hats — in all the colors of politically correct inclusion, of course — and accuse "The Hammer" of being a male-member sucking, Russian-butt kissing, oafish hater-bully while crying in their Party Apparatchik-approved, low-foam, low-fat latté from Starbucks.

And why did #CrunkNewsNetwork and FLOTSAM say all that? Because "The Hammer" is doing what "The Hammer" does, that is, speaking plainly about what is really happening back home while making nice with hosts in other countries as he speaks plainly. Oh, yes, those hosts are thinking, "Damn. I ain't gonna mess with that." 

In the meantime, the P-HWPCDLRSFC read headlines.

"OOOOO. Bad form, O! Great Orange One," say headlines in one fashion after another. "No president has ever acted like that before! The sky is falling! Pushover! Deeply troubled. Disgraceful. Impeach NOW! Impale his great orange, blow-hard head on a pike!"

Thus the P-HWPCDLRSFC*, acolytes of the mainstream media, believe the headlines and immediately start preaching their message of doom: "We MUST do what the MSM says to the Great Orange One before we all DIE!"

Lawzuh merzee. These acolytes of purveyors of drivel are the same people whose children, cats, and dogs rule the roost. And that, boys and girls, is all you need to know about the validity of their opinions and their memory because, as anybody who's been keeping up with the real stories knows, it was the Smartest Woman in the Room — that is, Ol' Hill — and other Deep State Actors who sold out the interests of the people they said they served and is the real reason "The Hammer" has been having to go around the world and fix it.

VISIT DURDEN'S Consolidated Author Page 

P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
** FLOTSAM: For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Angela's Funnee Du Jour: #5

Angela: Yeah, the jokes are always on her.
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Funniest Woman in the World

Experts recommendations are in every online news outlet’s lineup of hot stories of the day.

A really big one I saw the other day was “Books you MUST read in each decade of your life.” 

Who chose those books to put on the list? Who chose the picture of the Bearded Urban Mountain Man reading a book in the sunset perched atop a crag? Who thought to even pose such a picture and sell it in the first place?

Do experts even think of the logistics of adhering to their commands? NO. THEY. DO. NOT.

They just make the list and tell us to follow it. They assume we’ll print out the list and carry it around with us for the rest of our lives.  

Experts have said to keep in your fridge or freezer:

  • Flower bulbs. Dig them up in the Fall, put them in the fridge, plant them in the Spring. 
  • Clothes that need ironing. That’s right. Take them out of the dryer before they are dry, put in a plastic bag, and put in the fridge until…get this, mind you…until you can iron them.
  • Apple cider vinegar mixed in water: must drink it every day.
  • Batteries, nail polish, fresh cut flowers, candles, glue
  • Sunscreen, all cosmetics, eye cream, beauty oils
  • Hard-to-clean laundry, sweaters, pantyhose, unwashed jeans
  • Bedding and accidentally sealed envelopes
  • Wooden antiques
  • Seeds
Are these experts hired by refrigerator manufacturers?

Friday, July 13, 2018

Ask a RadFem — War and Abortion: Same or different?

At it again...all for you. 
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

A RadFem I know [you can read her full post at the end of this column if you so desire] had some things to say about abortion, war, men, and religion. 

I've always been amazed how anyone can twist real facts to support and condemn that which they love and hate, yet it happens every day, by men, women, religions, organizations, businesses, and governments, seeking to justify their actions and get what they want. These same also break laws, have laws written to support themselves and condemn others for no good reason and at a human cost that is staggering. 

Everybody knows these things happen. But, these are not in the majority for one very good reason. 

I, your Citizen Journalist, who usually does not opine about abortion on any kind of regular basis, shall do just that in the context of addressing some of Terre's arguments in support of abortion. 

Terre quoted an author** who says, "Abortion is about love, life, and death." Terre believes this otherwise she would not be recommending this reading material. The author is not wrong in that statement.

Abortion is about love — of self.
Abortion is about life — ending it. 
Abortion is about death —  of an innocent at the hands of a mother who should be protecting it. 

But, of course, that is not how Terre would see it. Her argument is that because men wage war, and the Pope makes rules about contraception but does nothing to support those children, then a woman deciding to kill her unborn child is a religious, yes sacred, duty. 

In other words, she is saying, "Well, if the boys get to do something wrong and feel good about it, then it must not be really wrong, and so then so can we girls kill our unborn children. Na-na-na-boo-boo. So there. Ha!"

In no universe would Terre ever describe herself as a limited thinker, yet that is exactly what she is. She lives in the Lost Land of Black and White where everything is simplified to the extreme and there are only two choices: Hers, that is correct, and yours, which is wrong. 

It looks easy to live in the Lost Land of Black and White, but in fact, those that live there are hollow and fragile, and when faced with reality, they dissolve into dust. 

Terre believes that men and women go to war (and we can infer she also means first responders like police, National Guard, etc.) because they love the concept of war and the very act of killing itself. Terre has reduced all reasons for war to a negative human trait: Domination.

My father was in the Air Force and I had several uncles and a grandfather who were Marines. (They have all passed.) I know a lot of active and retired soldiers and first responders. Not a one of them loved killing. None joined so that they could kill.* 

They joined to protect.

In order to protect, yes, these sometime must kill. That they have nightmares and other PTSD symptoms after the fact only goes to show that this act goes against their good natures. But they are willing to sacrifice themselves — and here is the key! — to protect others. 

Terre, in her Lost Land of Black and White, equates the killing of an unborn child by a mother who could not be bothered to sacrifice her lifestyle with a soldier's sacrifice of self in the face of an evil force whose aim is to kill mothers, fathers, and children

How are the two even remotely the same? 
They are not the same.
They cannot be the same.
And they never will be the same.

The latter, my friend, is sacrifice. And that is what is sacred about their duties because it comes from a place of love. Love is the dominant human trait and don't ever forget it.

Terre will never understand that and that is why she, who could do some real good in this world by identifying real evil and pointing it out (which she does do some of), instead wastes her time and intellect by supporting a politically correct notion that all abortion is a sacred female duty. 

Thinking like that is what has made it possible for the likes of another limited thinker and politically correct lemming, Lena Dunham, to say: "Now I can say that I still haven’t had an abortion, but I wish I had."

That thinking makes me sick — and furious.

Those who holler loudest about caring are the very ones who care the least. 

Those who holler loudest about equality are the very ones who believe they matter more than you.

Those who holler loudest about rights are the very ones who seek to take yours away by hook or crook.

Yes, these who holler loudest are dictators looking for a position in the new ruling party. 

The rest of us, we quietly go about making real sacrifices for real people, solving complicated issues for the good of the our communities. That is what holds together our communities and makes them safe.

And because we are quiet, the Terres and Lenas of this world with their limited thinking and blind-leading-the-blind behavior, think they are right and in a position of strength. 

They cannot be further from wrong. And for that, I thank Almighty God.

It is our duty to keep reality in their faces by supporting what is truly sacred and living by a code that does not devalue life. And that is what motivates your Citizen Journalist. 


* If you are reading this and saying, "Yeah, well, some do like to kill; what about that guy that did this horrible thing here?", then you are missing the point and you can just hush. 

** Please note the author changed the title of the book from "The Sacrament of Abortion" to "The Psychology of Abortion." The interior pages remained the same.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

The Politics of Boobs Strikes Again!

At it again...all for you. 

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

According to this story on, the U.S. opposed an easy-to-pass, no-brainer, breastfeeding resolution and the world was stunned.

Well, I read the entire article and, frankly, by the time I got to the end of it I had identified the following:

One: Everybody agrees breastfeeding is good.

Two: The U.S. wanted language that would allow women, who cannot breastfeed, options to feeding their child so that child will not starve to death.

Three: Russia and Obama were the caring heroes.

Four: Trump and the U.S. were the big, bad meanies who even threatened lots of little countries with disappearance of money and military if they voted for breastfeeding.

Five: Somehow sugary products and labeling got in the mix and diseases like Ebola will spread wide because Trump is a creep.

Six: Quoted were one named expert (breastfeeding is good!), one British advocacy group rep (We are astonished!), and somebody from the World Health Organization (Trump will bring back Ebola if we don't get our money!).

Seven: Lots of inferring and unnamed sources who were scared of losing their jobs, blah, blah, blah.

So, let your Citizen Journalist make this all clear for you.

That's right. Your Citizen Journalist read between the lines and she didn't even need to see the minutes of the meeting because here is why everybody is mad: The U.S. looked at the hastily written language in the resolution, saw the long-term negatives along with the opportunity for creating a black market for those who cannot breast feed, thus turning them and their connections into criminals, and they said, "To hell with that."

It's that simple. Why does your Citizen Journalist know it is as simple as that? It's simple. Around the world, for thousands of years, women have suckled their babies. They have especially done it when they could not afford the canned formula.

So, I have to wonder: Why did the United Nations see fit to, all of a sudden, introduce such a resolution? They aren't so good at making those. Just ask the Israelis and Arabs.


Monday, July 9, 2018

Out, out, you P-HWPCDLRSFC*!

At it again...all for you. 
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

Nick Cooke, owner of Black Swan Books in Richmond, Virginia, stood up for one of his customers the other day.

Seems Steve Bannon, former White House chief strategist, minding his own business, not talking to anybody, simply shopping for some rare books, was verbally assaulted in the store by a P-HWPCDLRSFC* in the form of an aggressive person who looked like, and of whom we can only assume self-identified as, the female of the human species.

Mr. Cooke not only said he would call the police if she didn't stop the assault and leave, when she did not comply, he actually dialed 9-1-1.

Seeing the owner of the store was not going to back down, like most of her kind who find themselves alone in the wild of real world consequences, the aggressive person who looked like, and of whom we can only assume self-identified as, the female of the human species, left the store. The owner then canceled the call for help saving money for the taxpayers in his fair city.

Mr. Cooke said, "We are a bookshop. Bookshops are all about ideas and tolerating different opinions and not about verbally assaulting somebody, which is what was happening." 

It takes courage to stand up for freedoms.

Good on you, sir. 

If you live nearby and have rare books for sale, or want to purchase any, make an appointment to visit his bookstore and buy something...or at least say "Hello, good neighbor."

P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies


Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Angela Funnee Du Jour: #6

by Angela K. Durden

Merkel takes page from Trump playbook

At it again...all for you. 
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

According to Soren Kern writing on, Germany's Angela Merkel has reinstituted border controls with Austria.

Lots of reasons for that, and you can read those in the link above. But I, as your Citizen Journalist, will tell you the real reason why she finally was able to start acting like a leader:

It was all that time she spent in Canada with Donald "The Hammer" Trump at the G7 Summit.

Look, I know the popular picture of the event was this one wherein all the leaders and their helpers seemed to be successfully coming against the big-bad American meanie and telling him to toe the line or else they would rip him a new one.

Image tweeted by German government.

However, when I saw this picture, my first — and might I add, most accurate — impression was that "The Hammer" was again commanding the crowd and bringing them around to his way of thinking while they pitched their little royal fits. But notice Merkel? She might have been posing for the picture (after all, Germany tweeted their leader looking strong), but let me tell you, it was already written on her face that she was in deep doo-doo and she was drawing strength from "The Hammer" because she knew what she had to do.

And what was it she had to do?
Why, that would be to bring back strong borders.

And now, lookey what we find in the story above but that Angela Merkel is doing just that. Granted, it is only with Austria and there will be many P-HWPCDLRSFC* who will manage to get quoted in FLOTSAM** outlets that she is wrong, but the point is, she isn't wrong to protect the citizens of her country.

Just as Trump is not wrong to protect the citizens of his.
Or as Mexico is not wrong to protect its citizens — should it ever get around to handling those cartels, and dirty politicians, police, and army.

I know quite a few P-HWPCDLRSFC who totally understand protecting the interior of their countries by limiting access to their borders. They live in gated communities and guarded hi-rises, and exist behind doors and windows with shrieking alarms that must be shut off with special codes or else the police, fire, and EMT are dispatched.

The only ones complaining about strong border protections are idiots whose deepest thought has been which milk to use in their extra-foamy latté today: Whole, skim, cashew, almond, rice, or soy?

Thank goodness Merkel has grown a pair, small though they may be.

P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
** FLOTSAM means For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Angela's Funnee Du Jour: #4

Angela: Yeah, the jokes are always on her.
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Funniest Woman in the World

Have you made your bucket list? I haven’t. I won’t. I’m not going to, either. 

You know how much money it takes to do stuff? So that means to afford all that you either have to be a trust-fund baby or have a super-awesome-paying job or have invented that app everybody in the world wants to download and you make tons of moolah on the embed ads. 

Right? Exactly. So, I’m not going to do make any bucket list because I’m too cheap. You know what? Let me be honest with you here, right now. Frankly, I’m too broke.

Friday, June 22, 2018

If Mexico is so great, why is everybody dying to get out?

At it again...all for you. 

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

This morning on Bacefook I posted a link to the State Department's travel advisory section wherein all countries in the world are listed with a recommendation for whether or not this is a place you want to go.

Specifically I mentioned Mexico because they have an interesting dynamic going on. Five of their states are Do Not Travel zones. Most of the country is Reconsider Travel. And only a small portion is Exercise Increased Caution. (See this picture below.)

In no instance was any part of Mexico listed in blue as Exercise Normal Precautions.

I thought this State Department listing was quite extraordinary because, according to all we hear from the #CrunkNewsNetwork and the FLOTSAM** Sisters, Mexico is a peaceful country that is simply poverty stricken. So, I posted the information from the State Department, after which I got this little nugget of a reply from a person I know in real life, S— F—:

"This is bull shit! Mexico is an awesome country to visit! This was placed just to scare Americans and keep them against us."

Obviously you can tell from her reply that S— F— is from Mexico. [Note the use of the word 'us'.]  I say she "is from Mexico" because she now lives in the U.S. I do not know her legal status and have never asked, but I do know she is learning to play guitar so she can play with her husband's successful corporate entertainment band that is mostly hired by American companies. But that is neither here nor there because S— is like a lot of P-HWPCDLRSFC*:

They have no clue about reality.

Now, I could have had a lot of fun with S— F— by stirring her pot with comments like, "Oh, yeah? Well, if Mexico is so great and wonderful, why are you here in Atlanta, huh, huh, huh?" But that would not make one whit of a difference to S— F— while at the same time bringing me nothing but grief from all the other P-HWPCDLRSFC who are just waiting for an opportunity to pile on.

In other words, it would have been short-lived fun. But my question still stands:

If conditions in Mexico are so great and wonderful, why have her people been coming over here for so long? Well, I'll tell you why.

Because the cartels and their government handmaidens have been doing nothing but raping and pillaging the good citizens of Mexico as they've reeled from one catastrophe to the next.

How long before all of Mexico will be on the Do Not Travel advisory?

Every day Mexico is looking more and more like a failed state — and it isn't the fault of the good citizens of the country who simply try to lead good lives and take care of their families.

Of the 208 countries in the world, there are 11 Do Not Travel (which we could rightly say are failed states), 20 Reconsider Travel, 49 Exercise Increased Caution, and 128 Exercise Normal Precautions.

It is only the rare individual who leaves the U.S. to immigrate to the "better conditions" of the Do Not Travel and Reconsider Travel countries. In fact, I know of not one P-HWPCDLRSFC who has moved to claim their jobs and homes in these or other countries. 

Sure, they take their vacay in U.S. sectors of some of them, but they privately kiss the ground when they get back home. 

P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies

*** FLOTSAM: For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters