Monday, February 4, 2019

The Super Bowl, Kevin Chapman, and Me

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

Super Bowl Sunday. February 3, 2019. When the New England Patriots and the Los Angeles Rams came to my town — Atlanta, Georgia — to make history in game LIII. And make history they did.

Besides having not one touchdown in the game until the fourth quarter, the game had the lowest final score ever.

Patriots won 13 to 3.

One touchdown (NE) and four kicks (two field goals and one conversion for NE, and one field goal for LA) were the only opportunities the crowd had for rooting for their teams.

In fact, social media meme legend already has it that fans were catching up on their sleep during the game. All that partying they’d been doing pre-game had worn them out and nothing was keeping them alert.

I watched the game and have to disagree with those lazy, ungrateful fans. The game might not have been full of photo-op action, but my goodness was it ever full of high drama. First, you had your battling game-opening singers (one old, two young) though, frankly, Gladys Knight won that just by being there. When she opened her mouth, the first note told you the other two young thangs had a long way to go. Knight got the screaming ovation and the young thangs got the polite applause. But that’s okay.

Next, you had your battling coaches (one old, one young) pacing the sidelines and screaming when they should and wiping sweat from worried brow. Then you had your battling quarterbacks (one old, one young). One with a supermodel wife, the other lining up for his. Then you had your TV announcers playing armchair psychologists — that is, drumming up reasons — explaining why Brady had only led his team to score 3 points in the first half and had not already obliterated the Rams.

Then there was the schizophrenic halftime show wherein all the pieces were there for a great performance, but no amount of big-hair slinging, tattoo-baring, bling-flashing, smack-rapping, drum-rolling, incendiary-bleeping, guitar-shredding effort saved it. Maroon 5, Big Boi (half of Outkast), Travis Scott, and the musicians and choir that backed them up are fabulous. The artists, singers, and musicians should not have been blamed.

I bet it is was a committee made up of New York apparatchiks in the NFL’s Marketing Department that put that lame show together.

The whole evening sounds boring. I get it.

But I was watching the field closely and let me tell you, there was not one player on that field who was phoning it in. That low score was because you had two teams equally situated in talent, strength, and maneuverability. Each team fought for every yard forward — in one case, mere inches — and did not willingly give up any advantage. Each player’s heart and soul was brought to the temple and sacrificed on the green altar of top-of-the-line monofilament fiber called Revolution 360 from FieldTurf with some sort of padding under it.

In any case, whether running on padded carpet or not, respect was earned that night. Each team should be proud of what they did.

Of course, not everybody agrees with me. First thing I see on Social Media, before the game is barely over, is a bunch of people complaining about the low entertainment factor. These same people must be Democrats, Liberals, Socialists, and pussy-hat wearers. You are correct. That last statement was redundant. Still, I feel like I need to restate it because they miss the fine points of everything. To them, a struggle is having to march in the street without a Starbucks nearby to get their fix of caffeinated Socialism.

So, anyway…

There I was on a fine Super Bowl Sunday, making like a photographer in Downtown Atlanta while Andy Zabinski, a friend of mine who is with the symphony, plays violin on the sidewalks, when this guy walks by. Our eyes caught and I thought, “Wow. He looks familiar. I wonder if I know him from a Jazz jam or something?” And he was looking at me like he knew me, therefore, naturally it would follow I would point and say, “Hey! You! I know you, right?”

The man nodded in the affirmative. He stopped and turned toward me and I was just about to ask him where I knew him from when I said, “Oh! You're that guy on that show.”

He nodded again and held out his hand and I shook it.

By now I totally could see the show in my head but could not remember the name of the show or the guy's character's name, but I knew it completely.

After a few seconds of me not saying anything and trying to think of the name of the show and just staring at him while we kept shaking hands, I realized he was asking me a question. Several times he said, “What is your name?”

I said, “My name?”

Then came another long pause, not because I didn't remember my name (though I have forgotten it in the past), but because I was wondering why he wanted to know my name.

He said, “Yes. YOUR name. What is it?”

“It's Angela.”

“Well, hello, Angela.” And he went to leave.

At which point I said, “Look, don't rush off. Let me say this: I loved your character. You did a FINE job with him. And, you were so good, I cried a few times.”

He said thank you and we parted.

Around midnight, of course, is when I woke up and hollered “Duh! Person of Interest. Detective Fusco!”

The story gets better. On the show, Kevin Chapman (his real name) looks tall and big. Online it says he is 5' 7". Well, if he is 5' 7" then I am 6' 5".


Thursday, January 31, 2019

“I am strong. I am invincible. I am woman.”

At it again...all for you.

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

In the opening months of 2019, in the self-identified great state of New York, a bill was passed that took away standing law allowing for criminal charges of murder in the abortion of a child after 24 weeks in utero. 

What that meant was that beginning in January of 2019, any time a child was actually pushed from a woman’s body or taken out via caesarean section, as long as the child was still in the mother’s body the child could be killed and nobody would get in trouble.

Killing a human is permissible, but killing a bird will get you in trouble?

Yes, according to the aforementioned newly passed law in New York state and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service’s Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act which reads in part:

“…This law, originally passed in 1940, provides for the protection of the bald eagle and the golden eagle (as amended in 1962) by prohibiting the take, possession, sale, purchase, barter, offer to sell, purchase or barter, transport, export or import, of any bald or golden eagle, alive or dead, including any part, nest, or egg, unless allowed by permit Bald Eagle sitting in tree (16 U.S.C. 668(a); 50 CFR 22). ‘Take’ includes…poison, wound, kill…or disturb.…civil penalties for violating…of $5,000 or one year imprisonment with $10,000 or not more than two years in prison for a second conviction. Felony convictions carry a maximum fine of $250,000 or two years of imprisonment. The fine doubles for an organization. Rewards are provided for information leading to arrest and conviction for violation of the Act.”

The author's newborn grandson
holds his father's thumb.
Let's see. Abortion uses poisoning, wounding, disturbing, and killing, but that's okay when used on a human fertilized egg/baby. The New York law smacks of politically correct caring run amuck. Now in the news Virginia is being asked to add the same law to their state. All in the name of Women’s Rights to Self-Determination.

Except even in this females are not created equally. That’s right. No test for gender is carried out to determine if the soon-to-be-aborted baby is female or male.

Even Red China does that and we know how degenerate they are in everything including copyright, theft of intellectual property, faking of mechanical parts and food, and putting all that into the world’s trade pipeline. Granted, Red China only aborts females which has led to a massive amount of men not being able to find a mate and have a child.

Or, to put it another way, growing a massive army ready to be sacrificed for world domination.

Still, one would think in the U.S., the European Union, and the British Isles, somebody would think it prudent to check if the abortion was negatively impacting the rights of the female in the womb. But they do not.

See? Not all females are created equally.

But how to limit the guilt in the killing of a female that these folks claim they care so much about? That is simple. It is a multi-step process. First, show the fertilized egg does not look like a human, but more like an animal and proclaim, “See the thing? It does not look like a baby. So, until it looks like a baby, it isn’t a baby.” Rename it fetus and stop calling it a baby.

Second, begin to claim that if it cannot live outside the womb of its own accord, then it is not really alive. Scientific and technological advances soon made that an almost impossible argument to win as award-winning obstetrical, surgical, and neonatal units with leading-edge care were saving fetuses right and left and documentaries were made that helped raise millions upon millions of dollars in research funding and the press — print, online, radio, and broadcast — highlighted happy parents whose fetuses were saved and grew into a lovely child that has brought nothing but happiness and joy to the world.

Giving up that tactic, abortion proponents next claimed that there are all sorts of genders and that those genders are chosen after birth. See? They aren’t killing a female because that thing in the womb has not yet self-identified as nor claimed any particular gender.

Pretzel logic is what that is. No. I will not insult a pretzel by calling it that. Instead, let me state definitely that such logic is from Satan. Satan was the first to attack a child — God’s child Eve — for selfish motive, so it takes no stretch of the imagination to understand from where come such thinking about the benefits of child murder.

But how can we get a goodly amount of people to believing that what is wrong is right? That’s easy. Just keep hammering away at Women’s Rights and screaming down anyone who dares to question. Change law. Gut the Constitution of the United States. Sue the pants off anybody or any business that does not toe the party line. Begin teaching schoolchildren the fundamentals of evil disguised as caring. Banish freedom of speech. And more.

In the U.S. and other countries, the killing of a child still in the womb is styled as a statement of women's rights. Women brag that their abortions were "wonderful, thank you very much". Others have publicly apologized that they haven't yet had an abortion and have let down all the other women who care so much for women's rights.

The reasons for a real medically necessary abortion are extremely limited and no one has any complaint about those and are well-known to medical personnel. Life and death decisions are hard to make and cause anguish and pain of heart. Let me be blunt when I say it:

Therapeutic abortions, my ass.

 It is wrong to turn into celebration the taking of the life of a person in the womb. Yes, I said wrong. It is evil. It is wicked. It is a crime. It is immoral. And dishonest? Oh, yes. 

It is the height of dishonesty to claim that rape resulting in a child makes it okay to kill the second victim of that crime and yet that same woman will not report the rape because it is just too hard for her to go through? 

You disagree? That is your right. You want to kill your child while in the womb? You go right on ahead and do it and settle up with God later. But do not ask me to pay for you to get it done. Do not ask me to agree with your reasons for it if having the abortion is a choice that supports your agenda or helps free up your schedule for the rest of your life. Adoption will just as easily free it up, too.

Those who scream loudest to be allowed to slaughter their own children with impunity are the first to denounce the slaughter of an animal for food. Abortionists cry out to “Save the innocent kittens! Save the precious puppies! It is immoral to eat eggs! Milking cows without their permission is wrong!”

Abortionists are the first to shriek for the rights of criminals but are willing to kill an innocent. Tells you all you need to know about the safety of your life, family, property, and rights if they are in control.

We are told they are to be honored because their opinion is worth listening to simply because it is their right to speak freely? Hell no. Their insanity is staggering and their psychosis is profound. I will not honor such. And why should I grant them that favor when they do not honor me? See how it works? Goose and gander, what’s good for the one is good for the other. 

But let’s just back up a bit and see just how far Women’s Rights have come. I reference here for you a song written in 1971 by Helen Reddy and Ray Burton of Australia entitled “I Am Woman” which subsequently was a worldwide hit for Helen Reddy as the artist, made Universal Music Group a ton in royalties, and became the anthem for the Women’s Rights Movement. We will dissect the song momentarily.

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend.
’Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again.

Oh yes, I am wise, but it's wisdom born of pain.
Yes, I've paid the price, but look how much I gained.
If I have to, I can do anything.
I am strong. I am invincible. I am woman.

You can bend but never break me
’Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal.
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
’Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul.

I am woman, watch me grow.
See me standing toe to toe.
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land.
But I'm still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I make my brother understand.

Please go back and take a look at what I’ve highlighted in bold italics.

The Women’s Rights Movement has done nothing but disempower females, urging them to be so weak that they cannot even carry a child to full term and give it up for adoption because their emotional response to giving up that living child to adults who would give the child a home and love is just too, too, too, too much for them to handle. Oh, the pain of knowing that one day that child might come looking for its biological parents is just too, too, too, too much to have to bear. Oh, the pain.

Notice that songwriters Helen and Ray use the word embryo to describe women who have not yet become fully formed in their power, wisdom, and understanding? The logic of abortionists says that a fully formed child is not deserving of protection and help unless it can breathe on its own. Therefore, carrying that to its reasonable conclusion, women who are weak, foolish, and ignorant/stupid should not be afforded the help or support to become wise, powerful, and knowledgeable.

See how their logic breaks down?

“I am strong. I am invincible. I am woman!” is fun to sing but is pure fantasy pushed by those who live in a black and white world that must conform to their ideal of what that phrase means. The Women’s Rights Movement does not roar.

It shrieks like a banshee.
It whines like a wussy.
It stamps its feet like a petulant child.
It degrades all it touches.
It avoids responsibility.
It devalues truth.
It tells lies.
It denounces spirituality that involves a loving Almighty God who self-identifies as Father.
It destroys families.
It preaches hate for all males.
It hates women.
It supports weakness.
It revels in death.
It rejoices in destruction.

It is something to be avoided.
It is something to be fought against.


Tuesday, January 29, 2019

An Admonition to P-HWPCLDRSFCs: "There is too great a fee for your caress."

A poem of admonition shared with Pussy-hat Wearing Politically Correct Liberal Democratic RINO Socialist Fascist Commies.

by Kid Kazanova (Philip Stack)

No, I am through and you can call in vain.
There is too great a fee for your caress;
Too great a share of heartbreak and of pain
And all the kindred hurts of loneliness.
What does it mean at best? A fevered hour
When I forget that you are not for me;
Your charm aglow like some exotic flower
To rouse again the waves of memory.

No, I am through — the trumpet call of youth
Must sound in vain — for I have need of rest;
You have no peace to give — no certain truth — 
and I am sick and weary of my quest.

Leave me to books and wine and memories — 
Nothing you have to give can equal these!

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Donald J. "The Hammer" Trump: Still surprising many.

At it again...all for you.

by Angela K. DurdenThe Most Brilliant Woman in the World

Contrary to popular opinion, I am not political. I can't afford to be if I am to remain "Citizen Journalist At Your Service" because I have to be above it all.

That does not mean I don't have my opinions, but my opinions are formed upon the backs of research, deep thought, knowing history, and being able to put two and two together to see into the future.

In any case, I sometimes share articles with my readers that I think might interest them. This is one you can READ HERE by  Fu Kuo Han of a closed Facebook group called The Thomas Sowell Foundation.


Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Dictators and Kings and Whinybutts, Oh my!

At it again...all for you.

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
When the United States was being formed as an entity, one nation in particular was very unhappy that their little colonists were getting uppity.

That nation was England.

After being abused and misused by a succession of monarchs who simply raped and pillaged their resources, stole their money, and taxed them out the wazoo so that they could no longer feed their families, those on this continent finally asked of their kings, "What have you done for us lately? Oo-oo-oo-oo-yeah."

The colonists had lived under uncontested rule and knew that when they formed a government it needed to have safeguards in place so that as many as possible could be represented as equally as possible and they would avoid dictatorships of which unchecked monarchies are one.

The Founding Fathers did just that — and, as we all know, immediately got major pushback from England.

The Founding Fathers also knew that the documents upon which the nation would operate successfully would always be under attack making the three branches (judicial, executive, and legislative) and the electoral college ever more important in maintaining a stable government under which citizens could build a life for themselves.

Since 1965 those attacks against the broad stable foundation have increased with the use of a judicial branch that is playing at identify politics instead of remaining true to the Constitution. We also have openly socialist/communist professors and politicians and an easily duped populace that no longer knows how the very thing they whine about is the only thing giving them the freedom to whine.

For an explanation of how the electoral college works and why it is important, watch this from PragerU.


Sunday, January 6, 2019

Just goes to show ya...

At it again...all for you.

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

As The Most Brilliant Woman In The World I will have you know that that does not mean I know everything. So I want to thank my good online friend Sal Coniglio for sharing the following spurious but totally hilarious correlations.

Yes, you will laugh snot bubbles. 


Wednesday, January 2, 2019

The Echo Effect: Why MSM is believed.

At it again...all for you.

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

The Echo Effect.

Repeated Redundant Relays: Equals message heard.

He who controls the portals of broadcast (print or otherwise) controls the populace.

And that is how FLOTSAM comes to be. 

** FLOTSAM means For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters


Monday, December 24, 2018

What I've Learned from Jazz Jams

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

Excerpt from upcoming book "Conversations in Hyperreality and Other Thoughts Umberto Eco and Dave Barry Never Had".

Click this LINK to download free PDF for your personal enjoyment.


Monday, December 17, 2018

Living life tempo Snapchato[1]

Living life tempo Snapchato
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World


Dear Snap Inc.,
I want to thank you for bringing your app to market. It is my wish that your company will remain, or in the case of not yet being such will become, financially stable and solvent and be in a business long time. Here is why.
Your company is saving me a lot of money in doctors’ bills and plastic surgery recovery downtime.[2]
As I have so famously written about in the past, my dear friend and fellow crime writer novelist Linda Sands introduced me to your app[3] when she said, “Hey, open up your Snapchat and let’s have some fun” and I went “What in the hell is Snapchat?” and she went “Woman! What do you mean ‘what in the hell is Snapchat?’” and I went “What I mean is ‘What…in…the…HAYLE…is…Snapchat?’” and Linda went “You really don’t know?” and I went “Linda, will you just [bad word here that ends in ing] show me for God’s sake” and Linda went “Of course, darling, all yousehaddado wuzzask” and Linda did show Angela and Angela downloaded the app right there and then and then Linda and Angela spent the next four hours in the absolute best therapy session ever because we did nothing but laugh and laugh and laugh[4]. Here’s why we did such.
First, Linda and I, both being savvy self-promoters[5], are always taking selfies as we go out and about in our mobile lives while promoting our various creative endeavors and events and so forth. Now, Linda and I know how to use an iPhone camera better than just about anybody when it comes to taking pictures of our own faces and we do a damn good job of it. Though I will say it now in print that Linda is like a lot of folks when it comes to taking pictures of others, that is, she is not so good, as opposed to me that takes awesome pictures of everything and everybody because my compositional eye is just that good.[6]
Anyway, there we were at Killer Nashville and staying up until three in the damn morning playing with your awesome app and giggling and laughing at the filters and the voice changer thing which, by the way, is simply fab. Oh, the comedy routines involving the publishing world that Linda and I came up with on that night[7] were beyond amazing[8]. They were so full of truths and we looked so freakin’ good that we have not shared them with the world lest the world get depressed at just how bad the book business is and how awesome we are, and a rash of suicides breaks out.
Do you see how caring we are, Snap Inc.? You agree! That is awesome.
However, to get back to this letter to your company. We both thank you for first focusing your attention on the Youth Market. The person who said “Hey, let’s put some filters on an app that will even out skin tone, get rid of bags under the eyes, add perfect coloring to the cheeks, make the lighting flattering to the nth degree, and add fake eyelashes and make the pupils dark and sparkly and large for all the young female people out there who do not need these types of helpers but to whom we can serve ads and upsell to at the same time” was a total genius.
I say this with all seriousness because for some time I had been seeing these pictures on my social media feed that showed all these parents sharing pictures of their daughters with captions like My beautiful and caring daughter at the soup kitchen and My beautiful and highly intelligent daughter on a STEM track on her first day at high school and I thought, “Crap fire. These girls are absolutely drop dead gorgeous and stunning. Look at that skin! Look at those heart-shaped faces! Look at that: NO BAGS under the eyes.” I was fairly blown away at the sophistication of these young beauties and wondered why it had taken me all of mumble-bumble years to get only half that gorgeous.
Then I got Snapchat and I began to recognize in those pictures of friends’ daughters the use of the app and — this is very important — the parents didn’t know their precious beauties were using it. The parents thought this was what their daughters really looked like and then the mothers went out and had surgeries to recapture their youth! Holy cow. It was a stampede, I tell you.
However, my dear friend and fellow crime writer novelist Linda Sands and myself use the app responsibly. For instance, we always hold back from the public our best Snapchat sessions because that is the kind thing to do. Even without Snapchat we are unbelievably awesome and cause many people to be extremely intimated by our extreme good looks and simply marvelous personalities. When we walk down the street together, traffic stops, people stare and, it never fails, a small child will eventually say ‘Hey, what is everybody staring at? Mommy? Daddy? Why is everybody so mesmerized and stupefied?’”[9] Then the child spots us and they can’t speak either.
Yes, it is true, men want to be with us,[10] some men want to be us[11], and women want to hate us but have a hard time doing it because we are just so friendly and kind and helpful.[12] So, Snap Inc., while we would love to use your app more often in a public setting, we feel a certain responsibility [to the mental well-being of your other users, and to those on our Bacefook and other social media feeds] and do not overuse your app.
But still, the amount of money you have saved me in photographer fees[13] and surgery[14] is awesome and I thank you.

Angela K. Durden and on behalf of Linda Sands, Durden’s dear friend and fellow crime novelist, two grateful women who are living life tempo Snapchato

[1] This is a bastardized musical term taken from tempo rubato meaning “free in the use of stolen time.”
[2] For the reader and Snap Inc: The author has never had any surgery involving her face or paid doctors for their opinion on how to employ plastic surgery, nor does she plan to do so. This sentence is merely here to get the point across that should the author have ever even thought of doing something stupid like that, with the Snapchat app from Snap Inc. she would not have had to do so.
[3] The author admits that when it comes to fun tech, Linda casts massive shade.
[4] Massive worldwide studies have shown beyond a shadow of a doubt that laughter is the best medicine. Which, as a polymath who puts together disparate thoughts and ideas, the author posits the theory that the rise of seriously caring P-HWPCLDRSFCs who do not understand humor and think all laughter should be derisive in nature and not joyous comes the rise of all disease. So, buying this book is good for your health. Help your friends with their health without the use of nagging by buying them a copy of this book and other humor books by the author.
[5] If we could only find out how to promote our books, we would be over the moon.
[6] The author reminds the reader that stating a fact is not bragging. Further, please be advised that the author also knows when not to use a photo and deletes those that did not turn out well as opposed to others who think every picture they take is just freakin’ usable when they are not.
[7] And subsequent occasions when Medicinal Margaritas were involved.
[8] The voice changer thingy was as addictive as meth. Not that the author has ever used meth because she has not, but she reads studies about it, which is why she could equate coming off the use of Snap Inc.’s Snapchat Voice Changer thingy as coming down from a meth binge.
[9] This is totally made up. Not really. It’s true.
[10] Those males who want to be with us recognize they would die and are happy to go home to their wives. So, in a way, these two crime writer novelists save marriages. They know you thank them.
[11] We have heard from two men in particular who joined together to perform in drag as “Angela and Linda: The Best Amazon Dot Com Crime Novelists.” The show is HUGE in Europe and Asia.
[12] The author wants to remind certain P-HWPCLDRSFC readers that this is a book of humor and going over the top is a requirement of the genre so rein in your PC outrage and just laugh with joy. You do know how to laugh with joy, don’t you? 
[13] This is true.
[14] This has been explained earlier. Are you reading the footnotes? Excellent.