Saturday, January 18, 2020

Want to know how to be a better white person?


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

Don't worry. I, your Citizen Journalist, has scoured these Internets to find the one and only world-renowned wypipologist to tell you how. You will shortly hear from Mr. Michael Harriot who is, according to his Twitter page, "Sr. Writer at TheRoot.com, board-certified* Wypipologist, master race-baiter. His pen is mightier than your sword. Warning: Has been known to 'Jeer at whites'."

What is a wypipologist? Well, it is a new code word thunked up to describe a black person who can explain white people and explain the Black Experience to white people. "Wypipo" means white people. Ologist...well, you know that is.

Mr. Harriot wrote How to Be a Better White Person wherein he outlined six key factors, the first of which is so brilliant that I was not simply merely stunned, I was beside myself in another dimension called The No-Racism/Yes-Racism Zone. 

The first thing he said I have to do is realize I am white. I kid you not. That is step one. Somehow or another — you can click the link to the article above if you want all his wisdom in all its glory — but...somehow or another, when a black person tells me I am white, I am not supposed to get mad about being told I'm white. 

I know. The logic is overpowering. 

Step two: Recognize I have privilege. What does that mean? Harriot says it means, his words mind you, "White Privilege is the absence of racism....But in America, only white people get to do this." 

Step three: Know things and, this is important, don't come to a different conclusion than he does or else I will be...what, boys and girls? That's right. A privileged racist claiming not to be white and not to see color.

Step four: Talk to other white people about how racist they are and try to change them. He thinks he quoted MLK, Jr. He's not sure he did. His own words. See? Right here. "I think it was Martin Luther King Jr. who said: 'The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.'
But if a white person is involved, the universe’s moral arc can turn on a dime."

One would think he'd confirm where the quote came from unless he's hoping for some sort of from-the-grave stamp of approval of his logic. But no matter where that quote came from, it is correct. Put another way, "The mills of the gods grind slowly, yet they grind exceedingly small." [Direct quote from the poem "The Mills of the Gods" by Charlie Wagg who used the quote thunked up by some guy named Plutarch.]

Step five: Talk to black people...but you got to listen. Why do I have to listen? Because not all black people think alike. And here all these years I thought they did. Duh! Doh! See my white privilege a-bustin' out all over? 

Step six: Think. Yes, know the history of slavery then ask myself what I am doing to stop it. Hang on, let me reread that again...yep, that pretty much sums it up. 

In any case, Mr. Harriot, the man who claims not all black people think alike and we shouldn't assume they do, assumes all wypipo do think and act alike, then proceeds to admonish all white people for thinking alike and pointing his pen at them for never doing anything about it. 

Oh, Mr. Harriot, bless your little ol' heart. It must be nice to have such a simple narrative to focus on.  

* Methinks Harriot's just having a joke on folks and waiting to see who actually believes him. In any case... 

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Tuesday, January 14, 2020

The Elephant In The Room — Harry: the Faux Royal.


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

Harry and Meghan are leading the pack of liberal wokeness these days and aren't we all just the better for it? Of course we are...if we believe them. I wish I could be as woke. Sure I do. Then maybe Elton John and George Clooney and Justin Trudeau would jet me around the world from one climate change diatribe to another where I could lecture the huddled masses on how racist they are for not liking me. 

Hang on. That won't work because I'm white and racism is only a one way street, right? Anyway. Moving on. 

Everybody is missing the elephant in the room. Everybody is whining that Harry is treating Grandma so badly when The Queen is not his grandmother...not by blood, anyway. Do you not remember that Diana uploaded Harry the good old-fashioned way — on the other side of the sheets? Harry is no more of the royal line than I am. He simply had the good fortune to have a mother who was married to a royal when she got knocked up by a hottie servant. 

Loike millions 'round the world, I watched Diana marry Charles. I didn't Kettle and Hob the bloomin' weddin' 'cause I was dreamin' that wahn day I too might marry meself a prince. Nah sir. I watched ter clock the bloomin' pomp.

And what a show it was. Then Diana proceeded to become The People's Princess and air private laundry to make a name for herself. Harry is the bleedin' nut that didn't fall far from that tree. He fit right in with the royals until he met one of his own kind and then it was all over except the privileged lecturing.

Sumantra Maitra nailed it when he said about Harry:  "Due to its symbolic and apolitical nature, British aristocracy are not supposed to publicly espouse political opinions, much less actively lecture people about mental health, toxic masculinity, or climate change. They are supposed to go to war, open hospitals, and silently take part in charitable causes. Duty, stoicism, propriety, and patriotism are supposed to be the four cornerstones of nobility. Unfortunately, Harry has too much of Princess Diana in him..."

Piers Morgan was brilliantly scalding when he said about Harry and Meghan: "By crying ‘RACISTS!’ in the face of perfectly legitimate criticism, this petulant duo has made a mockery of true victims of racism. Shame on them, and all those who promote this grotesquely false smear."



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Tuesday, December 24, 2019

You stick to it, Mr. Eddie Murphy.

Hey, Eddie Murphy! Loved the monologue on SNL. Here's my response to Bill Cosby's publicist who publicly tried to shame you for it: 


Oh, wow. You mean Mr. Bill Cosby's publicist trotted out all the good deeds his client did for "his people" to try to shame Mr. Eddie Murphy's spot-on monologue? You mean that because Ol' Bill was the first of his color to break barriers on TV or win awards somehow means we should not discuss his criminal behavior and how it affected his fans?

I loved Ol' Bill's comedy from the time I was a teenager and heard a record of his. I still say "Bob" and "Everybody out of the gene pool." I loved Fat Albert cartoons and "I Spy" with Robert Culp. And when my children came along, I let them watch the Huxtable family show.

Eddie Murphy spoke for a lot of people who had the same fan experience as me. So, to Cosby's publicist and to Ol' Bill himself, I say,

"Why don't you do like you did to the ladies, Bill. Take a chill pill and Stop. Your. Whining."


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

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Monday, November 11, 2019

Wing nuts? Why, thank you Mizz O.


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 


A report recently showed that Mizz O called Trump supporters wing nuts. Here is my reply:

Dear Michelle Obama, 

I bet many are thanking you for the compliment. However, I don't think you meant it as that. Do you even know what a wing nut is? Do you know the job it does? How it works? Why it is a valuable thing to use?

Wing Nuts (or wingnuts) are fasteners that come in many sizes from both measuring system types: U.S. and Metric. They have a wing on two sides that allows for easy tightening with fingers and thumb. Conversely, these can just as easily be loosened to allow something to be taken apart.

So, at this time these wing nuts are tightening down on defending the Constitution and the Bill of Rights thereby loosing the Commie hold over the best bastion of freedom and balance in the world, the U.S, and that, dear girl, is why you did not insult us "wing nuts".


P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
** FLOTSAM means For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

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Friday, November 1, 2019

Can I stop abortions from happening?

The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 


The child is a victim of a crime. I cannot stop abortion. Abortions will continue to happen. In this I am without power and I accept my limitations there.

So where do I have power in this issue?

I can speak up to those who want to abort and help them to value life.

I can speak up to Governments that want me to pay for it and in so doing help them not be godless.

I can speak up to the Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct crowd when they self-righteously — and falsely, might I add — claim they care about the woman when it is patently obvious they care about a destructive ideal above the sanctity of innocent life, and in so speaking deprive them of their evil social justice power wielded from the pulpits of their unholy places.


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Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Why I can never be a stand-up comedienne.

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

I went to a Comedy Open Mic last night. My first. Might be my last because one of the comedians...doing what comedians do...engaged the audience by asking the audience a question. Then he turned to me and specifically asked me. Here is that interchange.

"You had pets growing up?"

"Yes, sir."

"What were they?"

"Well, let me see...ummm...monkeys...snakes...baby lion...and ummmm..."

Now, I was getting ready to say, birds and bulls and cats and dogs, but the guy stopped me and said, "Whoa! You can't just say 'monkeys' and roll on by that and not explain."

Then he proceeded to ask some more questions, one of which was, "So, this monkey pet you had, did it die of old age?"

I shook my head and said, "No. It was a cocaine overdose."

Well, that brought the house down and was the running joke the rest of the night. Poor ol' Jocko the Macaque. Famous all these years later. The stories in my childhood are not things I can tell and make people laugh. For instance, before Jocko died of the drug overdose, he got out of his cage and into Ex-Lax. Ate the whole box. When we came home, monkey crap was everywhere and Jocko was laying on the top of the fridge with his head hanging down and moaning.

That should be funny. All the elements for comedy are there, right? Monkey. Crap smeared everywhere. There's a joke in there somewhere...except when I tell it isn't funny. It's just sad.

So you can see that my childhood is why I can never be a stand up comedienne, though I make a great second banana...as I proved so well last night.


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Thursday, August 1, 2019

"Wham Bam Shang-A-Lang" by Silver


Democratic Candidate Wannabees Debates Last Night


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

I was in the car when the debates came on the radio and so only got to hear some of it. But from what I heard can we all say together "Rewind and Repeat"? True, they are in a fight against each other to get their party's nomination and as such are preaching to their diverse choirs, but sheesh, even a preacher has to change up his* approach every now and then.



[*Use of the word 'his' in the marked sentence above is explained here just in case there are any Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Liberal Democrat RINO Socialist Fascist Commie All-Inclusive Social Justice Warriors reading this post:

Please note that the use of 'his' in the sentence referencing preachers is not used to exclude non-binary or the gender fluid or any human who claims belief in God yet ignores God's very specific creation of two sexes — genders — of male and female and that 'his' is only used to make the reading of the sentence that I wrote easy to get to the part that actually means something and is the point as opposed to muddying the waters with stupid stuff that only the #RadicallyShatbitCwazy find important.]

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Sunday, July 21, 2019

"I am Victim, watch me gloat."


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

Sung to the tune of
"I am Woman!" by Helen Reddy


I am Victim*, hear me whine.
I am mad all the time.
And I know how to cry loud and so forth,
Ooooh, history’s a bore and
lattes and puppies do mean more
Than unborn children waiting to be born.


Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, you've paid my price
But look how much I’ve gained
You can’t make me, no, no, do anything
I am whiny
(Whiny!)
I am susceptible
(Susceptible!)
I am Victim.
You try but will never break me
I pitch fits “You can’t make me!”
And I’ll sue you to get my own way.
I’ll call A-C-L-U.
Get injunctions out the wazoo
‘Cause “I am right, you are wrong,” I say.


Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, you've paid my price
But look how much I’ve gained
You can’t make me, no, no, do anything
I am whiny
(Whiny!)
I am susceptible
(Susceptible!)
I am Victim

I am Victim, watch me gloat
While I rip out your throat

As I spread my lovin’ arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I make my brother understand


Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, you've paid my price
But look how much I’ve gained
You can’t make me, no, no, do anything
I am whiny
(Whiny!)
I am susceptible
(Susceptible!)
I am Victim


I am Victim.
I am Susceptible
I am Whiny.
I am Victim.
I am Susceptible
I am Whiny.
I am VICTIM!


P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies


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Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Who moved my cheese?


At it again...all for you.


by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

According to a news report from Rice University, journalism is no longer a path to stable employment.

Yes indeed, many in the business are asking "Who moved my cheese?" 

As your Citizen Journalist — and one who used to write freelance for newspapers and magazines — I have been telling folks for years that so-called serious journalism was artificially propped up. Manipulating viewer, reader, and circulation numbers kept advertisers' dollars flowing in and paying those fancy salaries of degreed journos who have mostly let down their readers with the spread of fake news.

So, Rice University agrees with me now. They are so frickin' far behind it isn't even funny. 

However, I can smell it coming: Like doctors, lawyers, engineers, and others who require being licensed to practice, wait and see if the P-HWPCLDRSFC* journalists seek to protect their FLOTSAM** turf by requiring anyone who writes to be "licensed. 


P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
** FLOTSAM means For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters

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