So overwhelmed...PuhLEEZE, give me a break.

Angela the Anonymous.

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

I've only had one birthday party in my life, and who was invited as a special guest of my pedophile stepfather? A pedophile friend of his who proceeded to act inappropriately toward me during the party. And who, a few nights later, managed to sneak into the house and into into my room proceeding to try to do what pedophiles do when my stepfather caught him and a struggle ensued.

Anyway, no, I am not complaining about the lack of birthday parties. I never liked the whole idea of celebrating my birth anyway and did not know why one was thrust upon me when I turned nine. I've consciously avoided having a party in which I am the focus of attention. I don't like it.

If the attention is to be on me, I want it to be because of something I'm doing, like performing. I want tickets or books to sell and applause to ring out because of a talent that I worked hard to hone, not because of the accident of my birth.

Which brings me to why I am writing this column. It's all those people on Facebook who say the same thing.

"I am so overwhelmed at all the birthday wishes from all of you..."

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. PuhLEEZE, give me a break. First of all, is this a sneaky Facebook algorithm run amuck? Or are they conducting a social experiment by showing these thank you posts and measuring response rates? Hmmmm...

Look, I've known many writers in my lifetime. I've studied the written word of geniuses and those who could rightly be described as not the sharpest knife in the drawer and one thing always holds true: Original writings never are the same.

So, after years of reading "I am so overwhelmed at all the birthday wishes from all of you...", yeah, I start smelling something nasty.

But let's just say that somehow millions of people are writing the exact same words. Okay? Pictured that in your mind? Then the question I have to ask is this:

Are they all mindless drones? 

If yes, then Lord help us.

Citizen Journalist.  Novelist. Author of other stuff. 

Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

BREAKING NEWS: Facebook algorithm goes WILD!

by Angela K. Durden

Your Anonymous Citizen Journalist (ACJ) here with breaking news:

According to Facebook this morning, I am looking for recommendations. This is an example of Facebook's algorithm going wild. Or maybe it's the limitations of an algorithm that knows no humor when it sees it.

You see, I woke up at 6:00 AM with a pressing need. Brush my teeth. I really needed to. They felt icky. So, as one does who wants to freshen one's mouth, I go to the bathroom and lo and behold, there is no water.

The first thing I think is: Did the water bill not get paid? But the answer to that is no. I text a neighbor who says they, too, have no water. I call a coffee shop down the street a half mile or so. They have no water. Water department number is one steady busy tone, so...Ah, ha!

Your ACJ deduces the story must be HUGE and the water outage must be FOR A MAJOR REASON and it must be an area-wide water outage, too. I go looking for confirmation and what do I find? My Fave News Guy, Mark Arum, has the 4-1-1 on our area 9-1-1...with pictures from their traffic copter.

This thing is massive! Roads and business flooded. Water service shut down. Schools delayed. Major story, #LakeDoraville #wsbtv #ATLtraffic https://t.co/QmDGbBb4qH

— Mark Arum (@MarkArum) March 7, 2018

I send emails out to neighbors, text two friends and tell them not to come to the coffee shop to meet me since there is no water, and then I get down to that which is most important:

I post the thing to Facebook for those local friends of mine who might just be getting up and wondering if they paid their water bill.

You noticed the humor in my post right away. And why is that? Because you are not an algorithm. Algorithms do not understand the humor as you can see from the green underlining and arrow.

I mean, really, Facebook? I would be posting a question as to where I can find a bathroom to use?

Whatever. Moving on...this time to Roswell — and against my will. Instantaneously.

Yes, at the same time Facebook has me asking for recommendations, they showed me as posting from Roswell. I guess that is proof positive Zuckerberg is a government agent and they think I am nothing more than an alien specimen good only for their experiments.

Citizen Journalist.  Novelist. Author of other stuff. 

Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

Hump Day Quickie: RIP, Tech Nology User

When the Facebook algorithm works against their stated goals

by Angela K. Durden
Technology inventor protecting creator's copyrights. Business writer, novelist, songwriter, and Citizen Journalist.

Playwright Wade Marbaugh, front row, in suspenders.

My friend Wade Marbaugh wrote a play called "American Apartheid" based on a novella written just after the 1906 riots in Atlanta. Technically you could say these were race riots but it was white politicians who started the thing.

Politicians in Atlanta were unhappy that the Negro had been freed in the War Between the States a mere 40 years previous. They could see the vote coming for both the Negro and the white woman and they didn't like either one of them getting that, no sir, not one little bit.

So the newspapers in the town resorted to yellow journalism, what we today call fake news or spin, and simply falsely reported a massive uptick of rape of white women by black men. It was not true, but it finally got to the point of having a three-day riot wherein lots of people got hurt and lots of people — mostly blacks — died.

Involved at the time was William Edward Burghardt "W.E.B." Du Bois, a front runner of Martin Luther King, Jr.; was a hell of a writer on the subject of race relations; and founded the NAACP and ran it honorably.

Now, you would think Facebook would be happy with sharing such a fine story since it deals with the beginning of U.S. civil rights.

And isn't Facebook all about "real" news and "verified" facts and making the world a great place to live in? So they say, but Facebook's algorithm says No. How do I know?

Because when I share photos on Facebook about the Gordon Vernick Jazz Jam, these photos are immediately seen by lots of people who like, share, and comment. The post is often seen in FB feeds for several days after because I keep getting more likes, etc. 

But this play called "American Apartheid" only received one immediate like and that from a guy who was new to being a friend and looking to make time with me and is liking everything I put up in order to get Brownie points. 

I shared it with seven people, two of whom were expecting me to tag them, and they have not even had it show up. 

This play has been mounted almost 35 times. I was told by someone who's seen it several times that this was the best one yet and came in on a shoestring budget.

So I am sharing the album here with you. 

I would be interested in knowing if access to it is denied when you click on the link below. If it is denied, please email me at: angeladurden@msn.com and let me know. Here is the link: 

Here is the photo album of American Apartheid: The Play