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| Angela the Anonymous. |
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
I've only had one birthday party in my life, and who was invited as a special guest of my pedophile stepfather? A pedophile friend of his who proceeded to act inappropriately toward me during the party. And who, a few nights later, managed to sneak into the house and into into my room proceeding to try to do what pedophiles do when my stepfather caught him and a struggle ensued.
Anyway, no, I am not complaining about the lack of birthday parties. I never liked the whole idea of celebrating my birth anyway and did not know why one was thrust upon me when I turned nine. I've consciously avoided having a party in which I am the focus of attention. I don't like it.
If the attention is to be on me, I want it to be because of something I'm doing, like performing. I want tickets or books to sell and applause to ring out because of a talent that I worked hard to hone, not because of the accident of my birth.
Which brings me to why I am writing this column. It's all those people on Facebook who say the same thing.
"I am so overwhelmed at all the birthday wishes from all of you..."
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. PuhLEEZE, give me a break. First of all, is this a sneaky Facebook algorithm run amuck? Or are they conducting a social experiment by showing these thank you posts and measuring response rates? Hmmmm...
Look, I've known many writers in my lifetime. I've studied the written word of geniuses and those who could rightly be described as not the sharpest knife in the drawer and one thing always holds true: Original writings never are the same.
So, after years of reading "I am so overwhelmed at all the birthday wishes from all of you...", yeah, I start smelling something nasty.
But let's just say that somehow millions of people are writing the exact same words. Okay? Pictured that in your mind? Then the question I have to ask is this:
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