BREAKING NEWS: Facebook algorithm goes WILD!

by Angela K. Durden

Your Anonymous Citizen Journalist (ACJ) here with breaking news:

According to Facebook this morning, I am looking for recommendations. This is an example of Facebook's algorithm going wild. Or maybe it's the limitations of an algorithm that knows no humor when it sees it.

You see, I woke up at 6:00 AM with a pressing need. Brush my teeth. I really needed to. They felt icky. So, as one does who wants to freshen one's mouth, I go to the bathroom and lo and behold, there is no water.

The first thing I think is: Did the water bill not get paid? But the answer to that is no. I text a neighbor who says they, too, have no water. I call a coffee shop down the street a half mile or so. They have no water. Water department number is one steady busy tone, so...Ah, ha!

Your ACJ deduces the story must be HUGE and the water outage must be FOR A MAJOR REASON and it must be an area-wide water outage, too. I go looking for confirmation and what do I find? My Fave News Guy, Mark Arum, has the 4-1-1 on our area 9-1-1...with pictures from their traffic copter.

This thing is massive! Roads and business flooded. Water service shut down. Schools delayed. Major story, #LakeDoraville #wsbtv #ATLtraffic https://t.co/QmDGbBb4qH

— Mark Arum (@MarkArum) March 7, 2018

I send emails out to neighbors, text two friends and tell them not to come to the coffee shop to meet me since there is no water, and then I get down to that which is most important:

I post the thing to Facebook for those local friends of mine who might just be getting up and wondering if they paid their water bill.

You noticed the humor in my post right away. And why is that? Because you are not an algorithm. Algorithms do not understand the humor as you can see from the green underlining and arrow.

I mean, really, Facebook? I would be posting a question as to where I can find a bathroom to use?

Whatever. Moving on...this time to Roswell — and against my will. Instantaneously.

Yes, at the same time Facebook has me asking for recommendations, they showed me as posting from Roswell. I guess that is proof positive Zuckerberg is a government agent and they think I am nothing more than an alien specimen good only for their experiments.

Citizen Journalist.  Novelist. Author of other stuff. 

Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights.