Self-driving cars are a Socialist Fascist Commie invention.

White vehicle on right belongs to ex who
loved his Friday Night Drags.

by Angela K. Durden


Money.CNN.com writer Matt McFarland reports that automated car washes are a nightmare for self-driving cars.

See, it's the random speck of water residue on a sensor that will cause the damn things to crash. Also, while using the vehicle, God forbid any dirt, smashed bugs, and bird droppings come flying toward the sensors.

Because a random speck of soap film on a sensor will cause the damn things to crash, too, the vehicles must be hand washed, doncha know, and then their sensors cleaned with — what does Toyota use? — rubbing alcohol and microfiber clothes. (Avis is mum on their sensor-cleaning secret.)

All of which tells us two things. One: We can't safely ride in these things when it rains or snows, or until all insects are contained and birds take to trailing poo catchers behind them.

Two: New business opportunities will arise for companies to clean self-driving fleets leading to massive building of robots, or hiring of humans which will lead to claims of slavery because of low wages and them being forced to buy at the company store.

Mud bogging is totally out with self-driving machinery as is amateur Friday Night Drags at the local racetrack and selling cars based on how fast they can take that mountain curve. (Professional driver on closed course, do not attempt this yourself: HAHAHAHA! Yeah, right!)

Who wants to give up having their hands on the wheels of these?

Or these?

Can't you see what is missing in the experience with these robot vehicles? 

It has always been the human interaction with the machine that makes vehicles so much fun. Which is why we know Socialist Fascist Commies invented these boring vehicles.

You see, Socialist Fascist Commies around the world always play at capitalism, but everything they touch is so inefficient and boring as to be laughable. From transportation to distribution of goods to housing to feeding their entire countries, Socialist Fascist Commies suck.

Sure, they can build a great machine, but the weak point is always silly. Water? Soap? Bugs? Poo? Aren't these simply the most basic things in our world? You would think somebody would've said, "Well, what happens when a wet, muddy dog shakes itself dry then takes a whiz and misses the tire hitting the sensor and leaves spots on it?"

I would've asked that, but that's because at one time I lived in the country and I saw these real-world things.

And now we hear that self-driving cars are being programmed to decide who will die in a crash?

Do you see now? Self-driving cars are a Socialist Fascist Commie invention.

Citizen Journalist.  Novelist. Author of other stuff. 

Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights.