Sunday, September 17, 2017

Categorically Opposed to a First-World Problem

by Angela K. Durden
Technology inventor protecting creator's copyrights. Business writer, novelist, songwriter, and Citizen Journalist.


I can shovel dung out of a barn by the wheelbarrow loads and never gag once, but let me watch a commercial for the "new and revolutionary litter box" as they demonstrate the clumped sorting factor, or see somebody with a little plastic bag bend over to pick up what their dog just dumped and I'll gag in a second.

What to do with your dog poo is literally a first-world problem. Who else picks up their dog's droppings, wraps it in plastic, and throws it away? Nobody.

Why the two reactions to the same by-product?


I've given this a lot of thought and have come to the conclusion that it has to do with the concepts of Socialism v Capitalism.

I am a Capitalist. Capitalists are practical people. They make money the old fashioned way: They earn it. Cows earn their keep. Animals that perform, that is, what they do will sell a ticket, they also earn their keep. 

Pets, on the other hand, are Socialists waiting on Big Gubment to supply their every whim and fancy. The concept of earning their keep is not part of the equation in their lives. All they have to do is wag their tale, purr, or squawk and — WHAM! — "Does Muffie want a new toy? Yes, Muffie wants a new toy. Oh, no. Muffie doesn't like her new toy? I'm so sorry, Muffie. Let me remove it from your sight."

See? Gag. 

Therefore, since I am categorically opposed to Socialism and it makes me gag, it simply follows that my gag-response to pet poo makes perfect sense.

Frankly, I'm surprised


The same first-worlders who dutifully follow their pets picking up poo, are the same people who say nothing at all about the wolves, foxes, and coyotes living nearby who dump their poo — willy-nilly — throughout pristine wildlife sanctuaries and late at night in neighboring yards.

Frankly, I'm surprised Socialists have not used government job creation programs to hire people with tiny plastic bags to follow these wild dog-types around. 


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