Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Decadent desserts: Just trying too hard.

A Magnificently Methodical Southern Woman
and The Most Brilliant Woman in the World 


Frankly, I no longer want to eat a dessert whose very description means "characterized by or reflecting a state of moral or cultural decline", that is to say, decadent.

But they are decadent in a real sense because they are big fat liars and cheaters and con artists. How? Well, have you ever noticed that most desserts claiming said decadence are simply trying too hard? It's true. They always promise more than they can deliver. 

After some eager little waiter or waitress* lifts an eyebrow and says with what they always think is a sexy ooze in their voice, "You should try our new Sextuplet Chocolaté Quadruple Brownie Cake with spa-a-a-a-rinkles of t-a-a-a-a-riple East European imported roasted coffee toffees, will you be needing two spoons?", well, who wouldn't order it?

Decadent desserts remind me of the guy on the dance floor that has the moves but whose timing is off, he's flat-footed, but he is trying so hard you almost feel sorry for him and you dance with him anyway, smiling through the pain. [See picture above illustrating that painful smile.] 

To that guy and the dessert, I say, "No more. Spare me the pain...and the disappointment."


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Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies will probably cancel me for implying two genders here. I'm certain the FLOTSAM (For Liberal Opinion That is Serious and Actually Matters), also known as the #CrunkNewsNetwork and Cousins, will spread the story and help the Cancel Culture hunt me down.

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