Sunday, June 10, 2018

Bacefook: The New Dating Game

Neither Snickers Bar nor Mars, Incorporated,
have paid Angela for her endorsement...
and that is a frickin', cryin' shame.
by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World

The following is an actual quote from a communique I received from an algorithm...errr...I mean a man. Please do not hold typos, incorrect spacing, and bad punctuation against me.

"Hello beautiful thanks for accepting my request, was hoping we could talk and maybe get to know each other more, i must confess you have an astonishing and captivating smile,Angela i’m sure you receive such compliments on daily basis, well was hoping you on here so we could chat, i know this isn’t a date site or some sort, you just never can tell, would love to get a reply beautiful."

You don't believe that I got this message? Well, take a lookey-loo at the screenshot from Walter —.

Now, as a writer and an editor, I could break down the meanings he has implied. For instance, he would like to get a reply beautiful, that is a beautiful reply.

Now, Walter is correct in that I do daily receive compliments on my "astonishing and captivating smile." And, because I want to stay humble, I limit how often I go out in public so that I don't feed my ego and, you know, get the big head.

But, dang it if they don't chase me down on Bacefook. For me, Bacefook is marketing. I want to keep my face in front of what could potentially be a book and/or ticket buying audience. And since I am always marketing, marketing, marketing, it is only natural I should get strangers to react to my posts and ask to be friended. Of course I'm going to accept most of them because that is how one connects with fans, right?

Still, compliments I don't need as much as I need somebody to buy one of my books, thank you very much. Or a ticket to a show. Look, guys. Boyfriends I don't need. But does that stop these desperate men? No, it does not. Look at what I get on a daily damn basis: 

And when I don't reply, I get a simple question mark [see Mr. Chase Lynn Worsley both above and below as an example]. Which question mark, I am sure, is accompanied by a toss of the head and a hurt-feelings shrug of the shoulder and an eye roll of disgust that I did not respond.

These fellows must think that Bacefook is The New Dating Game. But I have one little piece of advice for them: 


And they do not impress as much as action taken. 

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