How to Identify an Honest Congressman, or not Boinking Beltway Babes

by Angela K. Durden
The Most Brilliant Woman in the World
Citizen Journalist.  Novelist. Author of other stuff. 

Business writer.  Songwriter.  Protecting creator's copyrights. 

Though only 50 admit to it publicly, 100 congressmen sleep in their offices. Why?

Because they cannot afford to pay rental rates in their nation's capital and continue to support their families back home, that's why. So they use the laundry, shower, and gym facilities in the basement of their workplace and carry on.

When I heard of this, I cheered. We've identified at least 100 congressmen who haven't sold their souls to the highest bidder. And look, if they are sending the money home to families, it's a sure bet they aren't spending their precious time with boinking beltway babes. That's right. They are working efficiently.

Better still, this situation is bi-partisan. Both Democrats and Republicans sleep in their offices. That offers a little ray of hope...maybe...sort of.

I can hear the plugged-in snicker in their sleeves at the political brethren they deem to have fallen off the back of a turnip truck on their way to the big city. Rubes. Unsophisticates. Country cousins. Aren't they just so cute sleeping in their offices. Hmmm...but are they breaking the law?

Let's sic the Deep State apparatchiks on them. Uh, oh. Now we hear complaints that The 100 are cheating the government. Receiving free rent! Amenity upgrades! And...

...wait for it...WAIT FOR IT...

...those are income and they are not paying taxes on that income, for shame, for shame.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the psychotic Deep State at work for you. They bite the very hands of those elected to serve but whom they cannot control. They punish those who, at great cost to themselves, are losing money to help out the country in which they live.

And that is how we know The 100 are honest.

Or, at least, not yet corrupted. (A little cynicism is judicious here.) If The 100 were manipulating the system to get funding, then they would not be sleeping in their offices, now would they? And since they have no funding, we know the Beltway Babes aren't getting boinked by them since Beltway Babes are only turned on by the smell of money.