by Angela K. DurdenHEY YOU, P-HWPCDLRSFCS*. HERE'S YOUR TRIGGER WARNING: Please be advised the use of three letters — A, M, and N — are used in this article in a non-alphabetic yet consecutive fashion so that it spells a word that means male. If you do not want to read that three letter word again, you are hereby advised to stop reading here and go no further. You have been warned.
BEGINNING THE NON-PC COLUMN:
On a recent Saturday, when I was on my way to the monthly Sisters in Crime Atlanta Chapter meeting, I found myself arriving so early I had time to do some shopping.
I was in need of another br--errrr...undergarment and knew that Target might have it. So I popped in to the chain's location near our meeting place.
Sure enough, I got what I came for and went to the self-checkout. There was a young man there whose task was to look after the customers in that area. Target should be pleased to have such a employee because he exemplified great customer service.
The young fellow was making the babies laugh with funny faces. Giving high-fives to the kids who could barely walk. To the boys he gave a "Du-u-u-ude" and a manly fist bump. The mothers were helped with moving their bags to the cart as they held onto their kids. Everybody smiled and the Targét goodwill fairly flowed like manna from the heavens on an early morning.
Came my turn at the register and I proceeded to check myself out with minimal drama. I'm pretty good at that routine. When I turned toward the door the young man stood directly in my path and had something to say to me. But first, he smiled with just a teensy bit of a gentlemanly art-approving eye. Then he winked very nicely indeed. He followed that up with, "Stay awesome."
Stay awesome.
I was not expecting that and it took me by surprise. I'm afraid my reaction may have stymied the young fellow's next efforts at expanded customer service. That is to say, I stared at him, then nodded, then thought, then smiled a little bit, and walked out. Dissing him was not my intention. I'm often simply slow on the uptake because, you see, I live in my head.
And at that moment my head was on chapter budgets and coming projects, and unfinished chapters in my new books. I was feeling pleased I found the br---...ummm, I mean undergarment I liked. Plus, at the Beall's next door was a long, black, lacy, flowing thingy one wears over a blouse and pants that fit me perfectly and was my price, that is to say, on deep sale.
But by the time I got halfway across the parking lot I was grinning big. By the time I got to my car I was laughing out loud and people were cutting their eyes at the crazy lady. When I shut the door to my car, I said aloud, "Oh, boy. Those are words to take home!"
And I did. But first I took them to my meeting and shared them. Lots of people found it humorous.
Let me put this scenario into the current P-HWPCDLRSFC* context.
I will explain why the young man felt free to say something like that to me. He would not be able to express it himself, but he did feel it as his core. You see, he knew I would not bite his head off and call down the wrath of the Radical Feminazi and report him to management for inappropriate behavior.
The RadFem and RadFem Wannabe would have already had their smart phone filming him while making running commentary about his Unchecked White Male Privilege Not Having a Patriarchal Clue as he Raped Women With His Mind Which is Just As Powerful as His Real Male Member That He Would Have Used If Other People Had Not Been Around, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
That video would go viral because one of the MSM would see it, put it on their website and tweet it out as a hard news story. Day two: RadFems and other social justice warriors with nothing better to do, would be calling for yet another ban on Target and the head of the young man on a silver platter.
Day three: Target C-Suiters would have scrambled their crisis response team to fashion an apology to all the disenfranchised genders. Day four: The young man would be fired, at best. At worst, he would be reassigned to a non-public facing position and told rising through the ranks was never going to happen for him.
Still, I think he's like a lot of other young men these days.
They are rebelling against the silly women because they are tired of not being able to be men.
Did you continue to read, P-HWPCDLRSFCs? If yes, did you notice how many times I've used the letters M-A-N consecutively in this article? Let me count them for you. Ten. Deal with it, you whiny butts.
Hey, stay awesome, y'all.
* P-HWPCDLRSFC is Pussy-Hat Wearing Politically Correct Democrat Liberal RINO Socialist Fascist Commies
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