Technology inventor protecting creator's copyrights. Business writer, novelist, songwriter, and Citizen Journalist.
I was once no more than five feet away from three Bluebirds who had no clue I was there.
Pacing on a branch, the female — I shall name her The Prize — was screaming. Yes, female Bluebirds can scream. What she was screaming was this:
"Kick his ass, baby! Kick it!"
I am not lying. It was clear The Prize's intent was to support the love of her life whom I shall name Male Numero Uno (MNU).
It seems the second male, name ICouldaBeenaContender (ICBC), wanted the female and he wanted her bad. But she kept giving him the cold shoulder until finally MNU had to step in and defend her honor.
ICBC and MNU were equal in strength. Theirs was the best fight I've ever seen. Lasted five minutes. Given the life span of the majority of Bluebirds, which is one year, five minutes is a long time.
But there was plenty of drama in that five minutes.
Mid-air dive bombings. Near-misses. Mid-air collisions. Clutches with their bodies falling hard to the earth where they rolled, viciously clawing and pecking. Breaking the clutch and, crawling away, wings trailing as they went to their corners to catch their breath, only to launch into the air again and come out fighting.
When it looked like ICBC was going to win, The Prize began pacing on the branch. She was so worried, her little tweeter couldn't holler any more. I swear I saw her chin wobble.
But then she looked into the future and found she could not abide living with that bully bird, found her voice, and again began with exhortations to MNU, namely,
"What are you waiting for, baby? Get the hell up and kick his ass!"
and "You know you're gonna git it good tonight, baby! Kick him!"
and "I love YOU! You da man."
Whereupon MNU rallied and ICBC saw the intent of resolve harden in his little blue breast and proceeded to self-identify as gone.
I wish I could say that I've had any two men fight that hard for me. I wish I could say that I've cared enough for any man enough that I would scream kick his ass. But they haven't and I haven't either and somehow that is just sad.
However, it has also allowed me to stay focused on what is important. For instance, if I had that much drama, then I couldn't be your Citizen Journalist. I wouldn't have invented technology that protects and defends content creators. I wouldn't be writing songs that masses of people are relating to and enjoying.
So, on the balance, I've self-identified to males as a drama-free zone — or just plain gone — and I think they are catching on and going some other place where females who will scream kick his ass and then they can go home together and get some of that good stuff because God knows I'm not getting any. Which is what this song was all about. Enjoy the song and video I made that couldn't have existed if I had a man.
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