I, Angela K. Durden, the Anonymous* Scourer of the World Wide Web — which can be found on the Internet — brings you the most up-to-date cra...errrr...wonderful stuff you can imagine that is completely relevant to your life purpose, financial stability, emotional health, and spiritual well-being.
Without my scouring you would never have found any of this thus making your life shi...errrr...terrible, but now that you regularly read my columns and pay attention to that which I share with you, well...all your problems are over.
You may thank me by supporting Capitalism: Click here to give me money.
Any amount will do. I can use the infusion of funds. You will feel good when you support Capitalism.
But please don't pay me in Bitcoin, even IF our Ultra Spiritual Life leader says otherwise. Oh, JP, you are such a hoot. (He wants you to support Capitalism, too: Buy a t-shirt.)
* Yes, yes, yes. I know you are saying, "Angela, how can you be Anonymous if you put your name out there?" That, dear reader, is why you love me so. The dichotomy that is Angela is what makes your life fun. Don't forget to support Capitalism.
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