"Hey, can you bring me some Sweet & Low?"

by Angela K. Durden
Technology inventor protecting creator's copyrights. Business writer, novelist, songwriter, and Citizen Journalist.

I met a friend at a restaurant in Midtown Atlanta (specifically Poncey-Highland area, for those familiar with Atlanta). They brought my unsweetened tea. On the table were Stevia and raw sugar, neither of which my body can abide. So, I asked for some Sweet & Low.

First, the wait-person's breath stopped. Then his lip curled. Then his nose rose. And here it came.

He leaned over me and with all the righteousness his Politically Correct body could muster, I got preached to, fussed at, and a finger shook in my face as he intoned about how righteous and wonderful Stevia and raw sugar are for the body, the planet, and all those poor put-upon indigenous peoples in Third World Countries who harvest them, and Lo! how terrible I was to hurt the body the Universe gave me, destroy the planet for which I was responsible, and I was racist to boot!

Yes, I was not happy about that. 

But as a writer in general and a Citizen Journalist in practice will often do, who simply allow people to act as they will and watch closely so they can write about it later, I too put this into practice at that moment and committed the moment to memory.

Still, the little devil in me decided to have some fun with the P.C. Preacher, and so after he finished his sermonized diatribe I said, where everybody could hear: "Soooooo...do you have Splenda? Equal's good, too."

Yeah, a head exploded, and the Right Reverend stomped off and refused to serve me again.

My food was delivered by a female Deacon and fairly thrown in front of me. I did not go back. (They are out of business because even their food was "sourced politically correct", that is, it was as tough and tasty as cardboard with rabbit food on top.)

But, you know what? That day, folks around me smiled. I do my little part where I can. 

Still, self-righteous pretentiousness is in vogue. Witness the latest in Brighton. A young man crowdfunded his restaurant from folks who lived in that fair city. Remember that because it will be important. He then proceeded to blame all of Brighton when it didn't become the super popular place of his dreams.

Yes, Douglas McMaster then went on to insult all of Brighton when he said:

“Brighton is not the right place for Silo. Brighton has been a beautiful three years of getting it wrong then getting it right and we’re doing well but I’ve had to dumb down what I do. Brighton does not have the contemporary food culture that’s needed for Silo."

All I wanted was lunch.

Then there was the day I went to a new hamburger joint. As soon as I walked in I thought "Oh, God. Here we go again."

At the counter, mind you, I ordered a hamburger, fries, and a drink and paid almost twenty-five dollars for the privilege of being handed a number for my table. The cashier/order taker did everything in their power to make me beg for information about their food.

The menu on the wall was so convoluted I didn't understand it. "Look," I finally said, "can't you just have those people back there cook me a hamburger and fries? Why are you making me work so hard to give you money?"

Sneering followed, but I handed over my money (how dumb am I?), took my number, and waited.

And waited. And waited. And effing effing waited.

I got up and asked where my food was.

Sneering again and a condescending "Others are waiting, too, you know."

Just as I was about to make a scene, my food was slid in front of me. I ate the damn food and then went to throw my trash away.

I stood in front of a dizzying array of multi-colored trash containers all with cryptic hieroglyphics as to where to throw my godda — okay, no effing cussing, Angela. I couldn't figure out where to throw my Politically Correct Sourced trash.

A sneering and condescending employee came up — I kid you not — and said, "Don't you KNOOOOOW what to do with your trash?"

I said, "Why, yes; yes I do." Then I walked back to the table and left it all there.

Sure. Yeah. That's the way to make a business grow and flourish.