Hey, David Letterman, it's called an election. And Dave? Your solution cuts both ways.

by Angela K. Durden 

Dave and Al: A bromance for the ages.

According to a fawning July 2017 Associated Press interview that by any definition could only be called an orgy even the Catholic Church could be proud of, David Letterman said he would "do anything" for Al Franken. One is certain Al smiled at all the promise held in those two words. Ol' Dave showed his loyalty and devotion to The Franken by sending zingers against Donald Trump on four subjects.

You'll NEVER guess which ones! Go on. Guess. Did you guess right? 

Probably you did guess correctly on the first two. Dave whined about climate change (the main one), and gun control (a close second). But these two had to be a surprise: Old Retired Rich People Looking For Their Next Gig (an extremely close third). Hunger in the U.S. (a distant fourth).

Let's take these subject/zingers in order, shall we?

Climate change (the main one).
Donnie is making Dave crazy. Somebody needs to find a way to get him out of office. More windmills! Need. More. Windmills. 

 

Gun control (a close second).
Donnie is making Dave crazy. Somebody needs to find a way to get him out of office.
Must. Stop. Evil. Guns.

Old Retired Rich People Looking For Their Next Gig (an extremely close third). Donnie is making Dave crazy. Somebody needs to find a way to get him out of office.
"If Nat Geo or anybody else would like a project and they need a stooge, I would be first in line," said the King of Top 10 lists. Ego. Is. Starving. Need. More. Gigs. 

Hunger in the U.S. (a distant fourth).
Donnie is making Dave crazy. Somebody needs to find a way to get him out of office.
Dave informed us there are over 30 million people hungry in the U.S. Every day. 

Dippy Dave dived deep.

Dave, there are over 341 million people hungry in the U.S. several times every day. Geez, dude. The problem is worse than you thought. Get your facts straight. Or else redirect some of your resources to solve it. You have a lot of lettuce. Use it to make some sammiches.

In the AP interview, Dippy Dave dived so deep that when he came back up for air he got the bends. 

[The Associated Press was clear to state that Dave's comments were edited for clarity and brevity, or to put it another way, they would help push the Socialist agenda without too badly boring the faithfully donating Socialist-class reader who would go stark raving mad if made to slog through the ramblings of an old man who has clearly lost his mind.] 

Here is part of the not-so-hard-hitting-at-all AP interview that they publicly published on their website and made available for anybody to read. 

AP: Speaking of the current administration, late-night seems to have become mostly Trump jokes and tirades. Do you miss not being part of that?

Letterman: Here's what I keep saying: We know there's something wrong, but what I'm tired of is people, daily, nightly, on all the cable news shows telling us there's something wrong. I just think we ought to direct our resources and our energies to doing something about it. And other people have made this point: If the guy was running Dairy Queen, he'd be gone. This guy couldn't work at The Gap. So why do we have to be victimized by his fecklessness, his ignorance? But it's just the behavior is insulting to Americans, whether you voted for him or not - and I feel bad for people who did vote for him because he promised them things that they really needed and one wonders if he's really going to come through. I know there's trouble in this country and we need a guy who can fix that trouble. I wish it was Trump, but it's not, so let's just stop whining about what a goon he is and figure out a way to take him aside and put him in a home.

Well, Dave, that non-whining solution is called an election. But that solution cuts both ways...which it did this time around so stop whining about the whiners.